#42 Music: ワタリドリ / The Migrating Bird

Ohoyy!

Finally back from the deaded-ness of NO UPDATE land.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a song from another great Japanese band. Hoho~

This time.. I am introducing [Alexandros] to this blog. Yeah, 'cause there's high chances of pals who like and love Japanese band(s) knew these guys since ages ago. I knew about them since I started being active in Tumblr in the ONE OK ROCK (OOR) fandom..then as the number of followers-cum-friends increases, I started to get to know more. More bands, more anime, more manga, more possibilities in life...aahhh.

But then, trying to keep myself under control i.e. reducing procrastination from my beloved Masters study, I limit myself to be into a lot of band as much as I did to OOR (but unfortunately I can't escape the charm from Fuji-kun..so yeah) - I mean, limiting in the sense of fangirling too much? Sorry, I am very bad in words. (u.u);; I do listen to other bands like Coldrain (thanks to bear sis Liezt) and some other. But again, I wasn't into them that much.

So, this time... at 2 AM ish in the morning, I was going through my iTunes and went to the JPOP section. I thought I wanted to listen to new songs to be played in the lab while doing my works.

[Alexandros]'s 5th album came up suggested and I check on the songs' preview. I fell in love with the first song! ワタリドリ. Below is the MV of the song (hicks, def got that from writing my thesis drafts).

What I wanted to share here is not just the song... but the inspirations I got as I listened to it again and again during the weekend evenings.

I pictured myself, after finally finishing this bloody Masters study...going travelling to some part of Japan (as I've always wanted to) but maybe due to Barakamon anime influence, I was in the village/community like one in the anime XD But of course, it was fun in interacting with the people in the community. Welp, I do hope it will come true one day! >.<

#41 Bashing or advising?

Earlier tonight I had this argument with this certain fellow *good friend* of mine.

Source of argument? My Facebook status.

Yeah, I was so angry (mostly frustrated) when somebody (who are using the research lab I'm currently residing in) did not take proper care of their stuffs to the point that it could jeopardised my work. So, I ended up posting this in the same morning:

My Facebook status

It's been there since Wednesday.. I think? Ah, yes. Wednesday. Then only today this guy checked his FB and told me in LINE that he saw this post. Thennnn he started preaching about "following devil's step" "let anger control you" etc. I do not want to argue, for God's sake. So I said "I know what I wrote" and "I had my reason". Guess what, he bashed me back with "then, if I killed someone. I'll just tell the police that I had my reason" 

I was like "DUDEEEEEEEE". Come on!

First of all, I know who I am referring to. I know when talking about LAB stuffs, only those with the LIMITED access to the lab are involved. So they know who they are. 

Next, I don't want to be waiting in the lab for the research assistants (RA) or final year project (FYP) students - just to attack them about 'being reckless'. I WANT TO AVOID ACCUSING PEOPLE as well as AVOID UNNECESSARY TENSION in the lab. You stupid ah? Can't you try to understand others first? 

AND YOUR CHOICES OF WORDS, DUDE. Seriously?! When I confronted him on the phone directly (thanks to 'having unlimited call and SMS' plan), I asked him why he keeps bashing me though I tried to respond to him nicely. He said he was not bashing me. FINE. But his choices of words shown otherwise. I seriously can't with this type of people. Why can't you improve your English (or whatever main language you'll be communicating with) so that you will not be misunderstood? This is not the first time I told him that the way he talks or types when it comes to critics is like bashing instead of advising. The worst of all would be AS IF EVERYTHING IS ON ME (the listener/reader). I even offered teaching him proper English but noooooo~ he can't stand studying. -_-|| 

Okay, I am done ranting here. I don't want ending up by writing bad things that I could've bash on him. That is not the point of this at all okay~ 

*yawn* I am very the jealous seeing Yuko sleeping soundly in front of me. I wonder if I would be able to sustain my sanity throughout the day since I have not sleep since 10.40ish AM yesterday. 

#40 Story: Replacement

"Your children are so cute," said the girl behind the cashier counter as I reached the counter with Bradley and Cameron. Bradley was a seven years old boy with blond curly hair while Cameron, a two years old girl with black curly hair. "Thank you," I replied. The cashier girl was looking at both of the children. "The baby girl looks more like you," she continued as I put my grocery items on the counter. "Do they have the same father?" the young girl added. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, but I ain't making any scene. Calmly, I responded, "They have the same father, dear." I realized Bradley was looking at me with a blank look, maybe thinking over about what the girl had said. I hoped he didn't have the wrong idea.

"He has your curly hair though," the cashier girl said. She was looking at Bradley as he diligently put all items from our grocery cart to the counter. I just smiled. The cashier girl smiled back at me as she scanned each items - her smile was sweet and genuine. She didn't know our story, she didn't have to know.
After she had done scanning all our grocery items and I paid the amount, I said thank you to her and walked out from the market with my kids.

We walked to the car park together. Cameron sat comfortably on the cart while Bradley walked besides the cart. Bradley was checking on one of the paper bags. "Can I eat the ice cream in the car?" he asked. He looked up at me with his eyes twitching because of the sunlight. "Sure,dear. But promise me that you won't spill it on the car. Alright?" I made a deal. "Alright," he replied, looking forward.

After loading all our paper bags of groceries into the car and I placed Cameron on the baby's car chair safely, I drove us back home.

***

Peter was already at home when the children and I got home. He went out to help us out with the paper bags. Bradley went up into his room after we have done sorting out the groceries. I put Cameron on the high chair. Peter stayed with me in the kitchen to arrange all the items into the cabinets. As I was putting the flours into the upper cabinet, I realized a pair of brown eyes looking at me intensely. I turned and clearly, Peter was looking at me with a worried expression.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked, closing the cabinet's doors. I gently rubbed his arm,maybe unconsciously hoping to make him feel better. He moved closer to me, his hand reached my cheek. Gently, he caressed my face like he always does. He smiled at me.

"I was the one who should be asking that, you know," he said. Before I could say anything, he added, "I know something is troubling you. Honey, I know that look on your face when something is on your mind."

Ah, this man. The man whom I married three years ago. The man that I had fall in love with since I met him a year before our marriage. He knew me well that he completes me. My one true partner in life.

I looked away from him to Cameron briefly before I turned back to him. I wished I had the bravery to speak out loud while looking right to his eyes. Unfortunately, I didn't. I looked down as I slowly opened my mouth to tell him. My lips were stammering. My heart felt a growing ache.

"It happened again," I started. "People looked at me outside with these kids, asking me if they're my kids. When I said yes, they'll ask again if they have the same father. Just..just because they don't look alike and..and..Bradley has no resemblance to me," I explained. I couldn't stop the tears coming out and Peter quickly hugged me to calm me down. Cameron was minding her own business with her toys, she was too small to understand anything.

"I love them both. I love Bradley as much as I love Cameron as my own child. There is no difference between them," I said between sobs. Peter rubbed my back and kissed my forehead several times. "I know, honey. I know," he whispered.

"I could never take the place of Bradley's real mother. But I will keep my promise to take care of him as my own," I didn't even know why I kept talking between sobs. I just felt like pouring all the inside out. I guessed Peter knew about it so he didn't stopped me.

Truth is, Peter was married before he met me. Bradley was his son from his first marriage. Peter's first wife passed away when Bradley was 4 years old. Another truth is, Bradley never called me 'mommy', 'mom' or even 'mama'. I,myself nor Peter never forced him to, because we both knew that he might still remember his real mother and miss her so much.

"I...I...I can't never replaced his real mother. Even so, I still...love him as much as I love Cameron. My heart aches every time people pointed out to me that he doesn't look like my child. I know he's not, but I still love him. He is still your son, Peter," the aching in my heart was deepen that I stammered as I speak. Peter pushed me gently and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I know that. I'm sure Bradley knows it well too," he assured. Again, he kissed my forehead to calm me down. I sobbed.

There was moment of silence except for my sobbing and Cameron's innocent playing voice.

"Mom, please don't cry."

I raised my eyes and looked up to Peter. He looked as surprised as I did. My heart was pounding. Is it what I thought it is? Was I hallucinating? Is it a dream or an illusion?

I turned to the kitchen's doorway and I saw Bradley standing there. Peter turned to him too. Slowly he walked towards us.

"Mom, please don't cry," he said again. "I know that you love me as much as you love Cameron. And I love you too," he added. He came closer to me. As he stood right in front of me, he looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes too but he was smiling genuinely.

"You are not a replacement for Mama. Mama is Mama. And you are Mom. Mom for me and Cameron."

Such words from a seven years old, I couldn't not hold myself any longer. I reached out my hands and hugged me tightly. Dear God, this is the day when I felt the love of family.

Peter went to carry Cameron from her high chair and walked back to me and Bradley. He together with little Cameron joined our hug. After a good one minute of family hug, everyone let go. Peter stood between me and Bradley while still carrying Cameron. Cameron was waving her hands happily when suddenly she spoke out her first word, "Mama."

*this story was featured in my combined blog here previously*

#39 HAPPY 36TH BIRTHDAY, FUJIWARA MOTOO

今日は藤原基央さんの誕生日です！

Today, APRIL 12th 2015 is the birthday of Fujiwara Motoo of BUMP OF CHICKEN.

This person, who definitely does not know I am personally. Nor do I to him.

But all I know is that, because he was born on this date 36 years ago, I was able to enjoy beautiful songs and music.

Along the way, I learnt more and more about him. I fell for this guy.

I love how he writes his song's lyrics, as if he is telling stories in each song.
I love how he sings, his voice melodically tells the story of the song.
I love how he smiles and laughs shyly. 
I love how he answers the letters in his B-Pass column - funny and witty too. But that is just him being him.
In every performance (that I ever watched), he and everyone gives their all.

藤原さんへ、

お誕生日おめでとう。

I wish for your happiness.. always. 

Keep rocking our world with your songs and music!

#38 Story: Pen pal

The boy was reluctantly biting his lower lips. He held the small gift box firmly inside his jacket's pocket. The girl stood in front of him, waiting for him to speak.

He was her pen pal and she was visiting his country with her friends. They had exchange correspondence for months and finally get the chance to meet.

Earlier this morning, as they walked in the park with their group of friends, the girl spotted her favourite band members and got excited. She hugged them and for the vocalist, her favourite member, she hugged him few times. She took pictures with them and the vocalist, Fujiwara was very kind to her.  He watched her excitement and felt a bit pang of jealousy.
In the cold night of winter, both of them stood outside a restaurant while their friends were enjoying their meals inside.

He went out to clear his mind of the mixed feelings he had been having. She excused herself to make a phone call to her parents back home. Then, she joined him and caught him startled. Because he was busy thinking to himself about her.

"So, you haven't told me why are you standing outside by yourself?" she asked again, raising her right eyebrow.

"I.. I just wanted to clear my head. That's..all. Yeah, that's all," he stammered.
"Oh, okay. Hmm.." She paused. She looked as though she was thinking on saying something.

"Yes? You want to say something?" He asked.

"Kind of. But maybe nevermind. I should head back," she replied.

"Oh." Deep inside he was hoping that they can spend more private time together though.

As she took her steps, she stopped few times. Being undecided, she turned to him again. She inhaled deeply as she looked at him. Exhaling, she asked, "You got something in your pocket, right?"

"Ah? I.. no..no.."

"Don't lie, Ayato. What is it?" She asked again. She too, wanted to spend more time with him, alone.

"It's.. Well, I will tell you if you tell me what is it that you want to say just now. Deal?" He smiled like a child. Not that he was confident that that was a good step to take but he just didn't know what else to say.

The girl thought for few seconds. "Okay. Deal," she decided. "But you must show me what it is first," she said.

"Okay. But! You promise to tell?" He needed assurance from her. "Yes, promise!"

"Hmm..okay then." He slowly took out the small gift box and shown it to here. "So cute!" She remarked with a wide smile. "Somebody gave to you?" she asked, inspecting the little box without touching it.

He shook his head. "I wanted to give it to someone." He replied. As she looked up to him, he added, "To you. Take it." He slightly moved his hand forward to her. She blinked her eyes few times in disbelief. She took the box anyway.

She found a pretty bracelet with half heart pendant attached to it inside the box. She smiled with excitement.

"I love it!! Thank you!!" She jumped and hugged him. He was taken by surprise. He hugged her back with mixed feelings.

"So, what is it that you wanted to say just now?" He asked, reminding her of their deal. She broke away from the hug. She turned around, as if making sure nobody nearby.

She gestured him to get closer to her, since he is taller than her anyway. She moved closer to his ear and whispered, "I like Ayato. Because you are kind and wondeful friend."

She smiled as he turned to her slowly. He felt much more confused now. Did he just got friend-zoned, as they said it in the internet?

"Like?"

"Yes, 'suki'. Ayato-kun no koto ga daisuki da," she said.

His face turned red. "Nana, that is.. you sound like you just confessed to me. I mean the Japanese sentence you were using.." he murmured.

"Eahhh.. you're right. Hehe. But.. I do really like you."

"Nana, if I asked you out.. will you go out with me?"

"Eh?!"

"Because I.. I really like Nana," he shyly confessed. She was surprised. "But you like Fujiwara-san. You were so excited and smiling the whole day after you met him," he added.

She chuckled at his words. "Baka..."

"Fuji-kun is an artist. There's no way I can be with him. I mean, not like how I can be with you, right?" She said.

He finally turned to her again. "You mean...?"

"I've told you, I do really like you. And since you've asked.. yeah, I would like to go out with you! Hehehe," she said, stepping closer to him.

He hugged her, tighter this time. She hugged him back.

#37 Song: RAY (BUMP OF CHICKEN)

Here I present to you, a song that made me fall in love so so much with BUMP OF CHICKEN.

I have known them by name before but I had never really listen to any of their songs. Then, I was introduced to RAY in a penpal site that I joined. I instantly fall for Fuji-kun's voice and the charm of the whole band.

Furthermore, as I looked up for more information on this band, one thing solidly amused me. It made me attached to BUMP more than I ever anticipated.

The members of this band had been together since middle school. They formed the band together and performed for the first time in their school festival. It's their very bond of friendship that got me into them so much, so madly tbh. Hahaha. AND the lyrics! Fujiwara Motoo wrote every song and each song is a story of its own. The more I know, the more I fall for them.

I went to KL in 2013 for a conference with my family. I went to Kinokuniya in KLCC to buy some Japanese magazines featuring ONE OK ROCK. Instead, I got one copy of ROCKIN' ON JAPAN with BUMP OF CHICKEN on the cover. As a BUMPER/fangirl, I would say that it's a fate LOL

Everyone is just so cute! Especially Chama as he jumped here and there LOL

Check out the lyrics here and translation here!

#36 Story: Name Tag

She walked into the store with her friends. Finally, after 3 days in Japan, she made it into Tower Records. She had so much in her 'check-out' and 'to-buy' lists. 

She went separate ways from her friends as they looked for stuffs of their own interests. She got excited when she reached the corner featuring her favourite band. She took those in her list. Then she went to another side. 
She was checking few albums and singles by her other favourite band, but not exactly what she wanted. She looked up and down the racks.

"Er..Excuse me..?" A male voice called out behind her. In a split second she knew it must be a Japanese from the way he speaks. She turned and a staff member was standing few steps from her. A typical Japanese young man around her age, with sweet smile and friendly aura. 

"Oh, hi. I.. urm.. I am looking a CD from this band," she murmured. No idea what has gotten into her but she was losing control of herself. She absent mindedly pointed to one of the CD cover.

"Oh! Ok, ok! No worries. I will help you find it," he assured, still smiling as he moved forward to the rack behind her. 

Her heart suddenly beat faster that she couldn't help but to put both hands to her chest. Her face must've turned red as she realised how cute he was when he turned to her to ask which CD was she looking for. 

Stuttering slightly but able to control herself afterwards, she told him the CD she was looking for. He found it and gave it to her. His friendly smile attracted and charmed her whole heart.

She turned awkwardly to find other stuffs in her list. Her heart felt like it was pumped out of the body when she heard him calling out for her again. "Sorry.. do you..do you need anything..else? I can help you," he offered. "It's okay. It's okay," she shook her head, beaming a weird awkward smile to him. It did not creeped him out though. He insisted to help anyway.

Eventually she gave in, knowing it can be helpless in acting tough, especially in a foreign country. So, he helped her finding all possible stuffs available in the store. 

As she stood in front of the paying counter, the staff member placed the last items she was paying for on the counter. He smiled at her and thanked her. His last words before leaving to attend another customer was, "Hope you have a nice day, pretty lady." 

If it wasn't for her friends tapping her back, she might be daydreaming and melting on the floor. She paid for her items and went out of the store with her friends. She told them about the cute staff member who helped her a lot.

"So, what was his name?" One of her friend asked, as they walked together.

She stopped. She slapped her forehead and felt moronic. "I FORGOT TO LOOK FOR THE NAME TAG" she said. "Nah, don't worry.. maybe next time you'll get to meet him again," another friend consoled her. Then they continued walking back to their hotel.

A couple of years had passed and she is back in Japan. She smiled to herself as she remembered the memory of her and the guy who worked in Tower Records. This time, she is walking into the same store again though she had told herself that he might not be here anymore.

She walked around the store as she is now much more familiar with the writings therefore making it easier for her to go anywhere she wanted to. She stopped at a corner where her favourite band is featured again. She checks out the latest album and single. 

"Still liking the same band, pretty lady? A voice asked behind her. Such familiar voice, she thought. She turned and the same smile that greeted her few years back appeared. He had different hairstyle but he still looks almost the same, with the same uniform.

"You! You remember me?" She asked.

"Of course! How can I forget such a pretty lady like you?" His lips curl upwards at one side.

"Hehe. Thank you. Oh, I am sorry. I didn't catch your name last time."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows and pointed at his name tag. He replied, "My name is..."

#35 Back to Life

Hey ho!!

It's been awhile since I last rant or babbler in this blog. Well, I've been busy catching up with my Masters work etc.

Unfortunately, I am still not done with it yet. I got the grip of it.. and so I am still trying my best to finish it til the end!

Anyway, I figured I should try to update more here. Yeah, yeah. I really should. Who knows it'll be a good filler for me whenever I got stuck with lab works eh?

Right..


NEW STUFFS IN LIFE

Let me said this out loud: I AM TOTALLY INTO BUMP OF CHICKEN NOW. Haha, nothing great. But I just wanna write that out of the blue. LOL

I got excited whenever I see Fujiwara Motoo. I don't even creeping know why.
I just like him, ok?

Ah, it's been few weeks (a couple of months) of hectic and almost hell for me and my roomie to find people to rent the rooms in our house. With our contract extending for another 6 months, we need people to share the rent with us. And really, this one experience taught me so much as people - their attitudes, characters and well-being. We're scolded, screwed and ughh... just so much unnecessary drama. Thank God that we finally settled down everything related to the rooms by 1st April 2015. New housemates came in, a Japanese Masters student (also in the same university with me) and a Diploma Accountancy student from other state. Finally, someone I can learn speaking casual Japanese with! LOL Surprisingly, she is good with Malay since she fell in love with the local culture here. Not surprising since her boyfriend is a local man. Hoho.

I have so much to write but I have little time as I might be called anytime soon to help my kouhai with her lab work and another housemate asking my favour to fetch her. So, I shall stop here first.

p.s: I am going to upload and share my short stories here. I'll do that later~ hehe