#33 Poem: For your wedding day

To the most beautiful bride,
Today is your special big day,
Today is when your smile is the widest,
Today is the day of your union
Union with the luckiest guy on Earth.
I cannot give you my presence
Nor I can give you any material
All I can give to you is my heart and prayers
And all the best wishes there is in this world
May your day ahead is filled with happiness and joy
May you be strong when any storms comes knocking on your doorstep
And always remember that though we were far apart
I am here for you anytime you need me
I will always love you as I did before
Congratulations on your wedding day
To my dearest best friend,
To my dearest soul sister,
I love you so much.
We all love you so much.

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This poem was written for the wedding of my bestie, Chrisa. She had her wedding in Brandon, Canada and the rest three of us were not able to attend it (due to visa application and money matter) :/

So, I talked to my other two besties, Net and Zai about writing a speech for Chrisa. My plan was to seek help from the groom's mom and ask her to deliver the speech. I was more than happy when she agreed to it \(^o^)/ 

Once again, I wish for happiness and joy in your new chapter of life. *sending virtual hugs*

Anyway, if any of you guys reading this and wanna use this for your best friend or sister's wedding, feel free to use this. :)

#31 Poem: Diary #1

I am bleeding because of you
But you won't see the pain
That I had inside of me
Because all you can see
Is the smile on my face.

I had no idea
How to keep moving on with you
Again and again
Doubt raising up deep inside.

I am not super strong
I know you are not too
But how long can I last?
With you keep being weaker than me.

Please.. I'm begging you,
Show me your worth
Before these pain and doubts
Eats me slowly inside.

#18 Poem: Get up, myself

Through all the negativity
Spits right on to my face
I cowardly withdraw
To the corner of despair.

I thought I was defeated
I thought I was lost
Never in my life
I have ever been so wrong.

I gather my courage
Shed the dried tears on my face
Taking a deep breath and letting go
I force myself to stand up.

No, I don't have to look up
This is not a drama
This is my own life
Looking forward ahead is what I've gotta do.

Say whatever you wanna say
I'll take the good
And ignoring the bad
I am walking on my own path.

I might be slow but it is okay
I will speed up when I need to
But I am going forward
To the unknown future.

But I am not scared anymore
Because I believe in me
And people who loved and support me
For who I truly am.

14th August 2013.

#17 Poem: The Lost Cry

Seemingly unbreakable

The wall building up

Is brittle and hollow.

It fills with nothingness.

Deep inside the hollowness

There is a soul that was lost

Trying to find its way out

But darkness blinded it off

Loneliness and emptiness

Became the loyal company

As well as tear drops.

And a secret wish no one heard.

“Take me out; save me.”

If only there is anyone care enough

To hear the lost cry.

#9 Home sweet home

I want to have a home..
Home to where I will look forward to be
Wherever I might be at that moment

In that home..
I dream of having family
Family of people who I care of
And people who care for me too

I just want a place that I could belong to
Someone who I belong to
I wonder.. Will I ever embrace it all?

By,
Aki (10/04/2006)
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I'm finally back home after an hour or so drive while fighting my sleepiness in the car. The city is always so packed and brilliantly, I drove back when it's almost the peak hour. Blimey.
Anyways, since I'm home for the weekend.. I might as well get some rest for myself before the coming week.
This morning, Dr N visited the lab where I'll do most of the experimental work for our research project. I guess, after looking at the almost-emptiness of the lab (except for few not so scientific things I had), Dr N asked me to take few things she had in her room to the lab. Mostly things she had back when she was doing her PhD that are related to my project as well. We also took few things from the inventory. Which is cool for me because I'll have more equipments and apparatus for my experiments without needing to buy from suppliers. He he he. After that, we had our discussion about our prototype and she taught me how to prepare my module. With that, she reminded me that I will have to do the works much more seriously next week, no more delaying. Huwahhhh. Scary but I can do it!! (I have to do it no matter what anyway)
So, as I was resting in my room.. I remembered I ever wrote a poem about "home" in my old diary. I found it and thought I could share it in my blog. Don't mind the grammar.. It was 7 years ago when I was in my pre-university. Haha. I was still full of emo back then, I think. Lots of rebellion instead of trying to make things right over and over again. Ahhh, I'm getting old ~.~
Oh,well.. It's getting late. My head has starting to feel dizzy.

Good night, everyone.

#8 The Other Side

The way you were hurt,
Have you ever thought about the other side?
If the other side might be hurting too.

Is the world only containing..
Black and white solely?
What about the grey and other colors?

The other side
The forgotten and unforgiven side
Nobody ever wants to give a damn
Not even a single ---

Have you ever wondered..
If there's flow of unstoppable tears
At the other side

Oh, nobody cares
Even if it's gonna bleed to the end..
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The Sunday when I wrote this piece, I was so emo. Stressed and depressed. Because at that time, I had a hard time with my own friend whom I considered as a good friend.
It was hard that things got awkward between us after the incident and we barely talk like normal. Maybe she was taking her time back then. In front of everybody, I smiled and acted normal. As if nothing happened. But once alone in my room, I felt the heavy burden of depression. The silent treatment she gave me, as if punishing me though I apologized for whatever wrong I did (it was a misunderstanding).
Trying not to feel the pain in my heart that much, I kept myself busy re-arranging and cleaning my stuffs in the room. Then, when I get hold of paper and pen, I just couldn't stop myself from writing down what I felt that time.
So, that is what I did. It wasn't so proper (I guess) compared to the Best Friend forever poem but that is just what I had in mind on that time.

p.s: Things had gone better between me and my friend and the awkward-ness is gone. Thank God :)

#7 Best Friend Forever

It's been decades..

Since we first met each other,

Life is so funny,

But what they said is true.

That love.. wins over hate.

Unknowingly, you entered my life

And I became part of yours too.

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

We're all grown up now

But the memories that we had shared

Crafted in our hearts

Sealing the bond of friendship

Stronger as time passed by.

You were always there for me

And I will tried my best for you.

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

Distance and time.. might separate us all

Physically but not in our hearts

Because we knew; no matter what

The bond is forever linked together!

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

I could never thank you much..

For everything that you have done

But everyday I thank God,

To have you as my best friend.

Thank you..

................................................................................................................

Created and written on April 5th, 2013 at 3:30pm. 

I was quite bored searching for the same thing (for my research) while listening to ONE OK ROCK's latest album JINSEI x BOKU = (JINSEI KAKETE BOKU WA). Starting from "the same as..." then to "Clock Strikes" and "Be the light", I suddenly has the urge to write something (poem/lyrics..whatever it suits). So, I took a piece of recycled paper and write it spontaneously. As I typed it back to this blog, few lines were changed (instant inspiration,maybe?).

Well, I guess my habit of writing comes back after been shut down for years. Do give me comments if there's any grammar errors or..anything. 

Last but not least.. this is dedicated to all my best friends who had been with me through bad and good times for years. Chrisa since nursery school (21 years), Zyra since primary school (16 years) and Nikki since secondary school (13 years). I love you guys so much! Thank You, God for letting me have these wonderful people in my life!