#33 Poem: For your wedding day

To the most beautiful bride,
Today is your special big day,
Today is when your smile is the widest,
Today is the day of your union
Union with the luckiest guy on Earth.
I cannot give you my presence
Nor I can give you any material
All I can give to you is my heart and prayers
And all the best wishes there is in this world
May your day ahead is filled with happiness and joy
May you be strong when any storms comes knocking on your doorstep
And always remember that though we were far apart
I am here for you anytime you need me
I will always love you as I did before
Congratulations on your wedding day
To my dearest best friend,
To my dearest soul sister,
I love you so much.
We all love you so much.

------------------------------------

This poem was written for the wedding of my bestie, Chrisa. She had her wedding in Brandon, Canada and the rest three of us were not able to attend it (due to visa application and money matter) :/

So, I talked to my other two besties, Net and Zai about writing a speech for Chrisa. My plan was to seek help from the groom's mom and ask her to deliver the speech. I was more than happy when she agreed to it \(^o^)/ 

Once again, I wish for happiness and joy in your new chapter of life. *sending virtual hugs*

Anyway, if any of you guys reading this and wanna use this for your best friend or sister's wedding, feel free to use this. :)

#32 My recent jam

Fall Out Boy - Alone Together

I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we're starting at the end

Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.

You cut me off, I lost my track
It's not my fault, I'm a maniac
It's not funny anymore, no it's not

My heart is like a stallion
They love it more when it's broken
Do you wanna feel beautiful?
Do you wanna?

I'm outside the door, invite me in
So we can go back and play pretend
I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next
Tonight I'm high as a private jet

'Cause I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we're starting at the end

Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.

My heart is like a stallion
They love it more when it's broken
Do you wanna feel beautiful?
Do you wanna?

I'm outside the door, invite me in
So we can go back and play pretend
I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next
Tonight I'm high as a private jet, yeah

Yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs
Say yeah
Let's be alone together
We could stay young forever
We'll stay young, young, young, young, young.

I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home
And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
This is the road to ruin
And we started at the end

Lyrics from: Here

another version of this song that I love:

#31 Poem: Diary #1

I am bleeding because of you
But you won't see the pain
That I had inside of me
Because all you can see
Is the smile on my face.

I had no idea
How to keep moving on with you
Again and again
Doubt raising up deep inside.

I am not super strong
I know you are not too
But how long can I last?
With you keep being weaker than me.

Please.. I'm begging you,
Show me your worth
Before these pain and doubts
Eats me slowly inside.

#30 Reliving the feels

The last time I actively write passionately might be when I was in my second semester (First year university). I remembered that I was writing about my transformation and change as a better person with the support and help of friends and people around me. I wasn't much of a religious person but I do feel like I need to at least know more in praying etc - something like strengthening my own spiritual soul. Since then, I could feel the difference in myself, in how I view and respond/react to things surrounding me. God knows who are those people who had helped me so much when I was almost drown in my own labyrinth. I am forever thankful for these people.

Well, that was when I'm still a freshman in university. After that, I got involved hostel committee as secretary where it took most of my university time. There's study with all the (civil) engineering subjects too. I stopped writing stories though I still dream, imagine and scribble some poems somewhere.

After graduating from university, I didn't get any proper job and I mostly stayed at home. Then, I started to write. Just something small, poems, random stories. I didn't managed to finish the story I started though because I just lost the ideas and my muse(s) back then just didn't amuse me enough.

I started back writing actively after I joined tumblr and knowing more friends because of our interest in ONE OK ROCK. Honestly, I like reading fan-fiction too but not all. I started writing more seriously after writing for Van while chatting with her in Facebook. Our crazy imaginative conversation turned to be my inspiration and thanks to the Neslo drink I had earlier that day, I spent the whole night (because I can't sleep due to the caffeine intake) writing the story The Facebook Comment. Since then I remembered I did write one short fic from request in Tumblr.

As I write more, I felt like my imaginations gone further to find inspirations. I felt happier when I am able to write. I thank God for knowing more people who inspired and supported me in this passion. There's some that share the same passion with me too. This particular girl, Qila @ Teluki is the one that made me write the most, even in SMS! She even made me write something, even short, as her bedtime stories. LOL. Because we shared the same passion.. and she herself is good in writing poems, we decided to share a blog where we can write together. I had this idea because I used to share a blog with an online friend where we will continue each other part in one story.

So, I hope if there's any reader of this blog that like to read 'homemade' poems and stories, do drop by our blog here: Lines of Words

#29 Fall out together

I seriously don't know how I can get attached with Fall Out Boy's new album 'Save Rock and Roll'. I gotta think hard to remember (or I won't have anything to post here).

*thinks hard* Maybe because of The Voice 5, in the Battleground round, two of the contestants sings 'My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark'. Yeah, I think so. LOL

Ah, then I felt like searching for new songs to play in my phone. Remembering that song, made me search for FOB. I never listened to their new album yet but I do like this band from the 'Sugar we're going down' period. To be honest, I wasn't much of a fangirl due to the fact that I am more into J-rock then.

While searching, I found the song 'Alone Together' in the list of FOB songs. My first thought was 'Oh, maybe this could be a song for me and Net together' since we're the only 2 out of 4 in our gang that haven't got married. So, I tried listening to it and I love it! Searching for the song in YouTube, I found it and it is part of the Young Blood Chronicles by FOB. That got me interested and I ended up watching from part 1 (My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark). It's creepy though.

The song 'Alone Together' gives me lots of feel. Maybe because part of what I really felt inside is in this song.

Cut me off I lost my track. It's not my fault I'm a maniac. 

It's not funny anymore, it's not. 

 My heart is a stallion. They love it when it's broken. 

And listening to 'The Phoenix', made me energized in striving forward in my study ^^ I'm gonna change my study mood like a remix and raise it like a phoenix! Woohoo!

Check out their latest Young Blood Chronicles video of 'Where Did The Party Go' here

#28 Story: 笑顔 PART 3

The Reunion

Himawari and Ryota went to their middle school reunion together but enter the hall separately. Ryota meet up with his group of friends while Himawari still walked around. Looking around while walking, Himawari accidentally knocked somebody.

“Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry!” she apologized quickly.

 “No worries. It’s okay,” a familiar voice replied. She looked up to the guy and it was Takuma. Himawari smiled.

“Wow, you are one fine lady. I shall offer you a drink. Let’s go to the banquet table,” Takuma offered. Then both of them walked to the banquet table together. From afar, Ryota silently watched the couple, feeling slightly bitter.

“So, what was your name again? I don’t remember you being in our middle school. I mean, not someone as attractive as you are,” Takuma said to Himawari. His remark on how attractive she is, made her blush.

“My…”

Before she managed to answer, few other guys and girls joined them. Himawari remembered them all, but it seems like they did not remember her at all.

“Hey, Takuma. Have you meet with the girl you rejected on the graduation day?” one of the guys asked. Takuma smirked. “Heh, I wish I had,” Takuma replied. “I wonder if she’s still in love with me – that silly fat girl,” he laughed, followed by the rest except Himawari.

‘He’s talking about me,’ she thought. She kept herself composed and calm.

“Did you guys remembered how she came and asked for Takuma’s second button on that day?” another guy asked, and more laughter in the group.

“Maybe she didn’t come today because she was so ashamed,” said a girl. “Yeah. Besides, she moved from Tokyo after the graduation day,” added another girl.

“Shizz..” Takuma hissed, his thumb moving along his lower lips. Everyone in the group turned to him. “That Kohama guy. Damn him. After I rejected that fat ugly girl, he just came and punched me after school,” Takuma murmured.

Curious, Himawari asked, “Why did he do that?”

Takuma rolled his eyes. He still feel the anger towards Ryota since that day. “Because of that fat ugly girl! Because I called her stupid, fat and ugly,” Takuma said. “They are both stupid and better off dying somewhere,” he added, in a lower voice.

Himawari heard it. Though it was said in a low voice, she heard it crystal clear. She couldn’t keep her calm any longer. She hated that guy; for judging people based on appearance, for saying such mean words to her and Ryota. She raised her handbag and swing it to Takuma’s face.

“What the…” Takuma and everyone in the group was shocked. Himawari is filled with anger that her face turned red. “Damn you all. You can call me whatever but don’t you ever! Ever! Say something like that about Ryota!” she yelled. Now, everyone in the hall turned to them.

She was about to swing her handbag to hit Takuma again, but a hand stopped her.

“Himawari, don’t. It’s not worth it,” Ryota said softly. Himawari felt like the strength she gained from her anger has gone. So, she lowered her hand.

Opposite to her, Takuma was surprised upon hearing Himawari’s name. The girl in front of him is Himawari, the one he called ‘stupid, fat and ugly’ and yet, he was praising her as if she’s a goddess a while ago.

Ryota put his arm around Himawari’s shoulder and brought her out from the hall, from the attention. Both of them walked out from the hall. While heading home in the bus, both of them were silent. But their hands were holding each other; both of Himawari’s hands were holding Ryota left hand while he put his right arm around her. 

The bus stopped at their station and the two youngsters walked down from the bus. Still holding hands, they walked together to Ryota’s house. Just as they arrived in front of the house, Himawari stopped walking. Ryota stopped and turned to Himawari. She was keeping her head down, unable to contain her tears any longer. Ryota hugged her, and let her cry all the way she wanted to.

“Please don’t cry, Hi-chan,” he said, comforting. She shook her head. “No, all those time in school. You keep telling me not to confess my feeling to him. But I stupidly insisted that he was a nice guy,” Himawari cried. 

“Please…don’t cry…”

“Be…because of me… Ryo-kun was…mocked and laughed at…” she sobbed.

“There…there… shhh,” still comforting her, Ryota gently caressed her hair. “I want to do that. I want to protect Hi-chan. Because for me… Hi-chan is a special person,” he added. Himawari stopped her sobbing and looked up at Ryota.

“What did you say…?”

Ryota blushed and scratched his head. He couldn’t look at Himawari in the eyes at first and then, took his breath and exhaled. He turned and looked at the girl in front of him. “I like you. I like you very much that I… I love you, Himawari. I don’t care if you’re fat or slim, I love you for who you are. And I love your smile the most. Because when Himawari smile, it’s like the sun shining its light to my world,” Ryota confessed.

Himawari couldn’t believe her ears. Was it real or just Ryota’s way of comforting her? Since kindergarten, the two of them were always teased as couple. Most of their friends said that Ryota is Himawari’s boyfriend because he always protected her. But she never believed it, she thought it were all just rumors. Only on this very moment she realized, Ryota always protected her – without her noticing. She smiled at him, making him blushed more. Without warning, she jumped and hugged him.

“I like Ryo-kun too! I love Ryo-kun’s smile the best as well! I love you, Kohama Ryota,” she replied finally. Her last words made Ryota smiled.

END

Check out the Part 1 | Part 2

#27 Story: 笑顔 PART 2

That feels.

“Ne, Hi-chan,” Ryota called, as both him and Himawari walked side by side in the city.

“Yes?” she responded. Looking down at the pavement they’re walking on, Ryota asked, “Are you still in love with Takuma-san? Or, you have a new boyfriend now?”

Himawari chuckled at Ryota’s questions. Her face slightly reddening. She quickly reacted by narrowing her eyes and turned to him. “Takuma? My goodness! That was long time ago. He rejected me on our middle school’s graduation day, remember?” she laughed and then continued, “Besides, my family is my priority now.”

He turned to her and saw her smile. The smile. Never changed. The smile that melts his heart. Feeling that his face just turned red, Ryota quickly turned. “So, anywhere else you want to send your resume to?” he asked. Changing the topic back to the main reason why they’re out in the city. Himawari checked the folder she had been holding.

“I think that is enough for today. I am getting hungrier too. Hehe,” she said. She wasn’t feeling very hungry actually, it was just that Ryota did look tired by accompanying her the whole day. After all, they went to almost 10 companies that is related to Himawari’s field of study.

“You want to eat somewhere or..?”

“Let’s go to the grocery store. I’ll cook something for you!” Himawari offered, making Ryota blushed. It has been long since she last cook for Ryota; well, before she moved, that is. She really appreciated Ryota spending his time to accompany her. For Himawari, Ryota is her precious friend.

—

While Himawari busy cooking in the kitchen, Ryota played his bass in the living room. His parents were out as usual and since his sister gotten married, she had moved and stayed with her own family. So, it was only Ryota and Himawari in the house at the moment.

Ryota was delighted when Himawari offered to cook lunch instead of eating outside. Secretly, he imagined a married life with Himawari as his wife. He shook his head to push the cheesy thought away but he could not help smiling.

“Let’s eat!” Ryota jumped from his seat and simply could not wait to enjoy his lunch.

After eating, Ryota volunteered to wash the dishes while letting Himawari to rest in the living room. She took her seat on the couch, then searching the coffee table in front of her for the TV remote control. Instead of the remote control, she saw two identical invitation letter. When she had a closer look, one of the letter is addressed to her.

Ryota joined her in the living room and sat beside her. One quick confused look from her, Ryota knew what her question was going to be. “It arrived this morning when we went outside. I picked it up when we returned home earlier,” he said. Himawari nodded. She turned back to the invitation, eyebrows raised as she read the content.

It was an invitation letter to their middle school reunion. “What a coincident!” she said, turning to Ryota. “Want to go together?” she asked, her face as bright and cheerful as the morning sun. Ryota smiled and replied, “Sure. Why not?”

“You know, Ryota. Since you have mentioned about Takuma-san earlier. It got me thinking,” Himawari murmured.

Ryota looked at Himawari, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

Smiling widely, Himawari stood up from the couch and turned around. “I’ve changed! I am no longer the fat girl like I was in middle school. Heh, I bet now that if Takuma ever see me, he’ll be the one falling in love with me then!” she beamed. Ryota smiled and nodded as Himawari took her seat back on the couch.

Deep in his heart, he felt his chest tighten. This feeling, he thought it would never come back. The feeling as if you have been weakened by some dark magic and you can only see your love one leave you.

But sitting close to him, Himawari did not realized a thing.

Part 1 | Part 3

#26 Story: 笑顔 PART 1

Back in the city.

Himawari turned to her side, smiled as she looked at the guy playing bass. Remembering that very moment made her heart beats faster and her face turned slightly red. As soon as the guy turned his head to her, she quickly shook her head so that he won’t see her blushing.

That guy saw her blushing face and smiled.

***

The train stopped at Azabu station, passengers entering and exiting. Himawari walked out from the train with her trolley luggage and a tote bag. She has reached Tokyo, finally. She carefully walked towards the platform exit and looked the surrounding in the station. There are skyscrapers and people walking in all directions, minding their own business.

It has been almost 2 years from the time she left this city. Her family moved to the countryside. There, her father works as fisherman while her mother works in a seafood restaurant. Now that her younger twin brothers starting middle school, the family needs more money.

Himawari is determined to get a job in the city, just as her mother has wished her to do. Her mother had told her that she can go back to the city to find job and that her mother’s best friend could help her there.

She looked into the piece of paper on her hand; there’s address and a phone number written on it. She took out her mobile phone and start dialing the number.

“Hello. Kohama resident,” a young man answered the phone. The voice sounds familiar to Himawari that she was stunned for a few seconds. “Hello,” the male voice over the phone called again.

“Ah, hello. Is Mrs Kohama there?” she quickly regained herself.

“Oh, Mom’s out to the market. Any message you want to give to her?” the young Kohama asked. “Hurm, Himawari here. I believed that my mother has told your mom that I’m going to your house?” she asked back.

“Himawari!! Yes, Mom has told me about it! Where are you now? I’ll go pick you up!” He is clearly excited about Himawari’s coming to his house. She then told him that she’s at the Azabu train station and he went out to fetch her.

—

“Welcome, welcome!” Ryota simply couldn’t hide his happiness. He helped Himawari with her luggage into the house.

By the time they arrived in the Kohama’s resident, Mrs Kohama has returned home from the market. She went to the front door to greet Himawari.

“Look at you! You’ve gotten prettier and… slimmer!” She hugged her tenderly, with motherly love. Mrs Kohama then asked Ryota to bring Himawari to the room that was prepared for her upstairs.

Himawari was very thankful that the Kohama are willing to let her stay with them before getting her own place to stay in Tokyo. After Ryota left her room, she sat on the single bed. She looked outside the window and see the house next door. The house that her family used to live. Back then, her room was exactly opposite of Ryota’s room. So it was very easy for them to communicate with each other.  They were always together too.

Inside the room next to where Himawari is, Ryota was laying down on his bed. There are moments when he’ll smile sheepishly and then stop himself. He shook his head vigorously and sat up. A heavy sigh was let out, as if he just realized the reality. He had been having crush on Himawari since middle school. They had been together since forever, since childhood. So, he thought he would never fall for her at all.

But he did. He realized that he care for her after she told him that she liked a boy in their class. He denied his feeling for her though he secretly hoped that the relationship won’t work out. Unfortunately, he didn’t had the strength to fight for his love. So he kept it for himself. Without her knowing it, he’ll protected her with all his might. Just as he did during their middle school’s graduation day.

Then, when she told him that she will be moving away, he wished he had grabbed her hand and hugged her tight. Never letting her go out of his sight. Remembering all the memories that he wished he had did more than just watching her go away, Ryota let out a heavy sigh again.

Part 2