#13 Be the light

"We can't choose the reason why.. But we can choose what to do in the day after,

So with that hope, with that determination.. Let's make tomorrow a brighter place"

~ Taka [Be the Light song]

I was told that "You're slow" several times by my supervisors (SV). It was kind of demotivating me when it was said over and over again. I was like, "Can you try to motivate me better?"
But then again, I am thankful to God for giving me intuition to meet sis Pojy for breakfast yesterday. I told her how demotivated I felt. Then, she told me to be positive in looking at things. Maybe I don't see what our supervisors see. Maybe my perspective is not as wide as theirs. As painful as it is, she said to me, it will be better if I tried to take their words in positively. Because somehow I can show them what I am capable of instead of whining endlessly. 

courtesy of Wisdom Quotes (FB)

Yeah, it is not VERY easy to receive something, especially advice from people. I felt that, honestly. It felt like there is some kind of EGO within me that wanted to shout "I am right! Not anyone else! I am at no fault!". But restraining myself hard, I thought about how I felt inside. Just thinking to myself and self-evaluating. No, I am not going to let myself loose simply based on my anger and emotions. Yes, maybe I seek company from sis Pojy so that I could probably be 'bitching' about my supervisors - in a way showing that I was totally right and they are totally wrong. It may makes me feel good at that moment, but will it still be when I realized that I am not entirely right? And by talking about them behind is already a wrong thing to do.

So, I am thankful that I stopped myself from doing something foolish. Something I might regret. 

Today, I finished up the draft of my paperwork. My main SV messaged me and asked me about it. I said I would show it by today. So, I tried my best to complete my draft. After talking to my colleague, he gave me some ideas and I made a new draft but took most content from my previous draft. By evening, I was able to finished my draft and show it to my SV. She said she got my main idea and asked me to update it with the things we've discussed. I'm thankful and glad. Things turned out to be positive and okay.  I've stopped myself, I don't feel regret which is won't haunt me forever after this. Hah! :D

*the strongest person is one who is able to hold his/her anger* :) Be the light, be positive. 

#12 Influence

Went out with my bro today and he drove my car. My radio is on and I was playing the latest album from ONE OK ROCK, Jinsei Kakete Boku Wa (JINSEI X BOKU =). 

And from normal chit chats, I ended telling my bro about ONE OK ROCK. To my surprise, he did check on ONE OK ROCK after he saw my ONE OK ROCK posts / YouTube links in Facebook. HOHO~ 

And yes, he praised Taka’s voice XD 

This isn’t the first time I’m influencing people around me with Japanese music. My bro himself get to know J-rock bands such as L’arc en ciel and Dir en grey since I played their songs over and over again in the house. He he he. And since high school, my best friends are the people who I will talk and influence regarding my favourite J-band or any Japanese artists. Hi hi hi~ 

Last but not least...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MORITA TAKAHIRO @ TAKA!!!

#11 Expectation

The higher is our expectation, the harder is the fall of frustration. 

Set the target and aim, but be realistic at the same time. So that we won't expect much, but still gain something. :)

#10 Words we said

This evening, I received a message from the friend who kind of the reason for my 'The Other Side' poem.

The message was short. With no friendly tone, with no intro (Hi,Hello or saying my name). It's more like a command.

I am not demanding. Nor I am bitching or talking bad about her.

It just felt like.. hurm, can't you ask in a nicer way?

After I replied the message, there's no "Thank you." or "Ok." or the simplest "K" respond. If you're using a prepaid mobile, I would understand that maybe you have no mobile credit left. But you're using postpaid mobile just like me :O *whoooooooooot~*

The exact same person once said this to me: I don't understand why certain people don't have civility to respond or reply back, at least by saying OK, after they have received our answer.

*claps* And there you are being the same person you're complaining about.

I am not perfect. NO, I am not. But I tried my best not to do things I hate people do on me. It's karma, baby. You said you believed in it, but you don't even bother about it. Most probably you'll feel it if you see/know the person who once hurt you get bad luck or something? I don't know.

Some people, keep saying and complaining about this and that. But they encounter certain things, they ended doing the other way round. Come on.. you're changing principal just to get yourself satisfied?

Again, I am not saying I am perfect. I am never perfect. I am not God. I made mistakes, lots of mistakes. But whatever words I said to others.. I keep reminding myself to be moderate. Don't try to say things that I might not be able to do. That's why I keen on keeping silence when face with problems. And to be sure, I'll ask question or suggestion about what I thought first. I don't like giving statement straight away. Because that statement might not be correct. Still, some people might thought that I am being sarcastic to them when I ask or suggest.
Ah~ we can never be able to satisfy everyone.

#9 Home sweet home

I want to have a home..
Home to where I will look forward to be
Wherever I might be at that moment

In that home..
I dream of having family
Family of people who I care of
And people who care for me too

I just want a place that I could belong to
Someone who I belong to
I wonder.. Will I ever embrace it all?

By,
Aki (10/04/2006)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm finally back home after an hour or so drive while fighting my sleepiness in the car. The city is always so packed and brilliantly, I drove back when it's almost the peak hour. Blimey.
Anyways, since I'm home for the weekend.. I might as well get some rest for myself before the coming week.
This morning, Dr N visited the lab where I'll do most of the experimental work for our research project. I guess, after looking at the almost-emptiness of the lab (except for few not so scientific things I had), Dr N asked me to take few things she had in her room to the lab. Mostly things she had back when she was doing her PhD that are related to my project as well. We also took few things from the inventory. Which is cool for me because I'll have more equipments and apparatus for my experiments without needing to buy from suppliers. He he he. After that, we had our discussion about our prototype and she taught me how to prepare my module. With that, she reminded me that I will have to do the works much more seriously next week, no more delaying. Huwahhhh. Scary but I can do it!! (I have to do it no matter what anyway)
So, as I was resting in my room.. I remembered I ever wrote a poem about "home" in my old diary. I found it and thought I could share it in my blog. Don't mind the grammar.. It was 7 years ago when I was in my pre-university. Haha. I was still full of emo back then, I think. Lots of rebellion instead of trying to make things right over and over again. Ahhh, I'm getting old ~.~
Oh,well.. It's getting late. My head has starting to feel dizzy.

Good night, everyone.

#8 The Other Side

The way you were hurt,
Have you ever thought about the other side?
If the other side might be hurting too.

Is the world only containing..
Black and white solely?
What about the grey and other colors?

The other side
The forgotten and unforgiven side
Nobody ever wants to give a damn
Not even a single ---

Have you ever wondered..
If there's flow of unstoppable tears
At the other side

Oh, nobody cares
Even if it's gonna bleed to the end..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Sunday when I wrote this piece, I was so emo. Stressed and depressed. Because at that time, I had a hard time with my own friend whom I considered as a good friend.
It was hard that things got awkward between us after the incident and we barely talk like normal. Maybe she was taking her time back then. In front of everybody, I smiled and acted normal. As if nothing happened. But once alone in my room, I felt the heavy burden of depression. The silent treatment she gave me, as if punishing me though I apologized for whatever wrong I did (it was a misunderstanding).
Trying not to feel the pain in my heart that much, I kept myself busy re-arranging and cleaning my stuffs in the room. Then, when I get hold of paper and pen, I just couldn't stop myself from writing down what I felt that time.
So, that is what I did. It wasn't so proper (I guess) compared to the Best Friend forever poem but that is just what I had in mind on that time.

p.s: Things had gone better between me and my friend and the awkward-ness is gone. Thank God :)

#7 Best Friend Forever

It's been decades..

Since we first met each other,

Life is so funny,

But what they said is true.

That love.. wins over hate.

Unknowingly, you entered my life

And I became part of yours too.

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

We're all grown up now

But the memories that we had shared

Crafted in our hearts

Sealing the bond of friendship

Stronger as time passed by.

You were always there for me

And I will tried my best for you.

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

Distance and time.. might separate us all

Physically but not in our hearts

Because we knew; no matter what

The bond is forever linked together!

The beautiful creation of friendship,

Bonded over understanding and trust,

From a total stranger..

We have become.. best friends forever.

I could never thank you much..

For everything that you have done

But everyday I thank God,

To have you as my best friend.

Thank you..

................................................................................................................

Created and written on April 5th, 2013 at 3:30pm. 

I was quite bored searching for the same thing (for my research) while listening to ONE OK ROCK's latest album JINSEI x BOKU = (JINSEI KAKETE BOKU WA). Starting from "the same as..." then to "Clock Strikes" and "Be the light", I suddenly has the urge to write something (poem/lyrics..whatever it suits). So, I took a piece of recycled paper and write it spontaneously. As I typed it back to this blog, few lines were changed (instant inspiration,maybe?).

Well, I guess my habit of writing comes back after been shut down for years. Do give me comments if there's any grammar errors or..anything. 

Last but not least.. this is dedicated to all my best friends who had been with me through bad and good times for years. Chrisa since nursery school (21 years), Zyra since primary school (16 years) and Nikki since secondary school (13 years). I love you guys so much! Thank You, God for letting me have these wonderful people in my life! 

#6 Chrome's Theme

Hello everybody!

It's Friday today! (obviously, d'oh. haha) I hope everyone is having a great day ahead of you. Don't lose hope if you don't have a good start, the day is still young. He he. 

Anyways, I wanna share about Google Chrome. I used to explore lots of games and applications (apps) for Chrome. But since something wrong to my laptop, I had to use Mozilla Firefox as my default browser. Chrome is still my choice for my own computer in the lab though. So, since I'm quite addicted to ONE OK ROCK now, I tried to find a Chrome theme of them. I found one and it's a custom made. 

This leads me to My Chrome Theme app :D In this Chrome extension app, you can make your own Chrome theme. Which is cool~ coz we can even make a theme of our own personal pic (if you want to) then. 

My Chrome Theme app

I did try making one. As I've said earlier, I'm still addicted to ONE OK ROCK. So, my first theme is a devianart by yatlax (here) because I love the wallpaper so much. It is also my current desktop wallpaper XD It's from Kanzen Kankaku Dreamer PV anyway. :)

My new Chrome theme XD <3

In My Chrome Theme app, you can customize not only the picture of your theme; but also the color of tabs and background. I haven't explore this app fully yet but I'm pretty contented with it since I will be able to have my Chrome theme as how I want it to be. You can share your theme with others too! 

And here is mine XD (my ONE OK ROCK theme)

#5 Haircut

Konnichiwa!

Finally after a full month of 'rest'..I hope I can blog more after this ne. Hopefully..hopefully. :3
Anyways..I went out with Chrisa-chan today. We had our late lunch at Warung P.J. for the imfamous Smashed Chicken Rice after she picked me up in the campus around 2pm. Then we headed to P car service because Chrisa's car was hit from behind by another car last week. Good thing that the guy that hit her car admitted his fault.

The best part of our evening together was when we decided to go to Chrisa's usual hair saloon since she had free hair treatments for us both there. I decided to cut my hair after delaying for almost 3 months.
I felt bad for the girl who washed, did hair treatment and then also cut and iron my hair for 2 hours. Ya, 2 hours. Cause my hair is that thick. Lol.

I wanted my hair short so that I don't have to keep tying it when I get ready for work. And like my bro said.. "the only thing left to do with your hair is to dye it yellowish. So that you'll be exactly like the lion." =_=;; So, I keep on thinking how short is the appropriate length to ensure my hair won't go all haywire and frizzy.  At first it was suggested to be shoulder length, just to be safe. Then I felt like I still need to tie my hair anyway. I quickly take my phone and Google search short hair for females. Looking through, none catches my attention at all. I ended up Google searching for Taka of One Ok Rock. I saw his pic from Kanzen Kankaku Dreamer's PV and I was somekind struck by his hairstyle in that pic. Hence I told the hairstylist girl that I wanted my hair to be like that *pointing to Taka's pic*. 

Taka's pic that I showed to the hairstylist :P

And so after 2 hours..my hair has gotten shorter and I do looked like a kiddo instead. Like girl from secondary school.  Hahaha. Nevermind,  I guess this short hair gonna do me quite a favor during the mountain climbing next month by not making me waste time just to tie it. Amin!

After done with the hairy business, we went to Grace Pt for dinner. I finally get to eat Bulgogi! It's a Korean dish of white rice and beef. I've been longing for it since I knew its existence when I worked at Ttaeng Korean Restaurant last 6 years. Hehe.

Overall, it was a superb and awesome night to be able to hang out and talk to my best friend. Because.. no one could ever accept me wholly like they do. Love you all, besties!!

Bulgogi dul bap

P.s: This entry was first published using SAMSUNG GALAXY NOTE 2 but recently edited using PC (lol).