#42 Music: ワタリドリ / The Migrating Bird

Ohoyy!

Finally back from the deaded-ness of NO UPDATE land.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a song from another great Japanese band. Hoho~

This time.. I am introducing [Alexandros] to this blog. Yeah, 'cause there's high chances of pals who like and love Japanese band(s) knew these guys since ages ago. I knew about them since I started being active in Tumblr in the ONE OK ROCK (OOR) fandom..then as the number of followers-cum-friends increases, I started to get to know more. More bands, more anime, more manga, more possibilities in life...aahhh.

But then, trying to keep myself under control i.e. reducing procrastination from my beloved Masters study, I limit myself to be into a lot of band as much as I did to OOR (but unfortunately I can't escape the charm from Fuji-kun..so yeah) - I mean, limiting in the sense of fangirling too much? Sorry, I am very bad in words. (u.u);; I do listen to other bands like Coldrain (thanks to bear sis Liezt) and some other. But again, I wasn't into them that much.

So, this time... at 2 AM ish in the morning, I was going through my iTunes and went to the JPOP section. I thought I wanted to listen to new songs to be played in the lab while doing my works.

[Alexandros]'s 5th album came up suggested and I check on the songs' preview. I fell in love with the first song! ワタリドリ. Below is the MV of the song (hicks, def got that from writing my thesis drafts).

What I wanted to share here is not just the song... but the inspirations I got as I listened to it again and again during the weekend evenings.

I pictured myself, after finally finishing this bloody Masters study...going travelling to some part of Japan (as I've always wanted to) but maybe due to Barakamon anime influence, I was in the village/community like one in the anime XD But of course, it was fun in interacting with the people in the community. Welp, I do hope it will come true one day! >.<

#37 Song: RAY (BUMP OF CHICKEN)

Here I present to you, a song that made me fall in love so so much with BUMP OF CHICKEN.

I have known them by name before but I had never really listen to any of their songs. Then, I was introduced to RAY in a penpal site that I joined. I instantly fall for Fuji-kun's voice and the charm of the whole band.

Furthermore, as I looked up for more information on this band, one thing solidly amused me. It made me attached to BUMP more than I ever anticipated.

The members of this band had been together since middle school. They formed the band together and performed for the first time in their school festival. It's their very bond of friendship that got me into them so much, so madly tbh. Hahaha. AND the lyrics! Fujiwara Motoo wrote every song and each song is a story of its own. The more I know, the more I fall for them.

I went to KL in 2013 for a conference with my family. I went to Kinokuniya in KLCC to buy some Japanese magazines featuring ONE OK ROCK. Instead, I got one copy of ROCKIN' ON JAPAN with BUMP OF CHICKEN on the cover. As a BUMPER/fangirl, I would say that it's a fate LOL

Everyone is just so cute! Especially Chama as he jumped here and there LOL

Check out the lyrics here and translation here!

#29 Fall out together

I seriously don't know how I can get attached with Fall Out Boy's new album 'Save Rock and Roll'. I gotta think hard to remember (or I won't have anything to post here).

*thinks hard* Maybe because of The Voice 5, in the Battleground round, two of the contestants sings 'My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark'. Yeah, I think so. LOL

Ah, then I felt like searching for new songs to play in my phone. Remembering that song, made me search for FOB. I never listened to their new album yet but I do like this band from the 'Sugar we're going down' period. To be honest, I wasn't much of a fangirl due to the fact that I am more into J-rock then.

While searching, I found the song 'Alone Together' in the list of FOB songs. My first thought was 'Oh, maybe this could be a song for me and Net together' since we're the only 2 out of 4 in our gang that haven't got married. So, I tried listening to it and I love it! Searching for the song in YouTube, I found it and it is part of the Young Blood Chronicles by FOB. That got me interested and I ended up watching from part 1 (My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark). It's creepy though.

The song 'Alone Together' gives me lots of feel. Maybe because part of what I really felt inside is in this song.

Cut me off I lost my track. It's not my fault I'm a maniac. 

It's not funny anymore, it's not. 

 My heart is a stallion. They love it when it's broken. 

And listening to 'The Phoenix', made me energized in striving forward in my study ^^ I'm gonna change my study mood like a remix and raise it like a phoenix! Woohoo!

Check out their latest Young Blood Chronicles video of 'Where Did The Party Go' here

#17 Poem: The Lost Cry

Seemingly unbreakable

The wall building up

Is brittle and hollow.

It fills with nothingness.

Deep inside the hollowness

There is a soul that was lost

Trying to find its way out

But darkness blinded it off

Loneliness and emptiness

Became the loyal company

As well as tear drops.

And a secret wish no one heard.

“Take me out; save me.”

If only there is anyone care enough

To hear the lost cry.

#13 Be the light

"We can't choose the reason why.. But we can choose what to do in the day after,

So with that hope, with that determination.. Let's make tomorrow a brighter place"

~ Taka [Be the Light song]

I was told that "You're slow" several times by my supervisors (SV). It was kind of demotivating me when it was said over and over again. I was like, "Can you try to motivate me better?"
But then again, I am thankful to God for giving me intuition to meet sis Pojy for breakfast yesterday. I told her how demotivated I felt. Then, she told me to be positive in looking at things. Maybe I don't see what our supervisors see. Maybe my perspective is not as wide as theirs. As painful as it is, she said to me, it will be better if I tried to take their words in positively. Because somehow I can show them what I am capable of instead of whining endlessly. 

courtesy of Wisdom Quotes (FB)

Yeah, it is not VERY easy to receive something, especially advice from people. I felt that, honestly. It felt like there is some kind of EGO within me that wanted to shout "I am right! Not anyone else! I am at no fault!". But restraining myself hard, I thought about how I felt inside. Just thinking to myself and self-evaluating. No, I am not going to let myself loose simply based on my anger and emotions. Yes, maybe I seek company from sis Pojy so that I could probably be 'bitching' about my supervisors - in a way showing that I was totally right and they are totally wrong. It may makes me feel good at that moment, but will it still be when I realized that I am not entirely right? And by talking about them behind is already a wrong thing to do.

So, I am thankful that I stopped myself from doing something foolish. Something I might regret. 

Today, I finished up the draft of my paperwork. My main SV messaged me and asked me about it. I said I would show it by today. So, I tried my best to complete my draft. After talking to my colleague, he gave me some ideas and I made a new draft but took most content from my previous draft. By evening, I was able to finished my draft and show it to my SV. She said she got my main idea and asked me to update it with the things we've discussed. I'm thankful and glad. Things turned out to be positive and okay.  I've stopped myself, I don't feel regret which is won't haunt me forever after this. Hah! :D

*the strongest person is one who is able to hold his/her anger* :) Be the light, be positive. 

#11 Expectation

The higher is our expectation, the harder is the fall of frustration. 

Set the target and aim, but be realistic at the same time. So that we won't expect much, but still gain something. :)

#10 Words we said

This evening, I received a message from the friend who kind of the reason for my 'The Other Side' poem.

The message was short. With no friendly tone, with no intro (Hi,Hello or saying my name). It's more like a command.

I am not demanding. Nor I am bitching or talking bad about her.

It just felt like.. hurm, can't you ask in a nicer way?

After I replied the message, there's no "Thank you." or "Ok." or the simplest "K" respond. If you're using a prepaid mobile, I would understand that maybe you have no mobile credit left. But you're using postpaid mobile just like me :O *whoooooooooot~*

The exact same person once said this to me: I don't understand why certain people don't have civility to respond or reply back, at least by saying OK, after they have received our answer.

*claps* And there you are being the same person you're complaining about.

I am not perfect. NO, I am not. But I tried my best not to do things I hate people do on me. It's karma, baby. You said you believed in it, but you don't even bother about it. Most probably you'll feel it if you see/know the person who once hurt you get bad luck or something? I don't know.

Some people, keep saying and complaining about this and that. But they encounter certain things, they ended doing the other way round. Come on.. you're changing principal just to get yourself satisfied?

Again, I am not saying I am perfect. I am never perfect. I am not God. I made mistakes, lots of mistakes. But whatever words I said to others.. I keep reminding myself to be moderate. Don't try to say things that I might not be able to do. That's why I keen on keeping silence when face with problems. And to be sure, I'll ask question or suggestion about what I thought first. I don't like giving statement straight away. Because that statement might not be correct. Still, some people might thought that I am being sarcastic to them when I ask or suggest.
Ah~ we can never be able to satisfy everyone.

#8 The Other Side

The way you were hurt,
Have you ever thought about the other side?
If the other side might be hurting too.

Is the world only containing..
Black and white solely?
What about the grey and other colors?

The other side
The forgotten and unforgiven side
Nobody ever wants to give a damn
Not even a single ---

Have you ever wondered..
If there's flow of unstoppable tears
At the other side

Oh, nobody cares
Even if it's gonna bleed to the end..
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The Sunday when I wrote this piece, I was so emo. Stressed and depressed. Because at that time, I had a hard time with my own friend whom I considered as a good friend.
It was hard that things got awkward between us after the incident and we barely talk like normal. Maybe she was taking her time back then. In front of everybody, I smiled and acted normal. As if nothing happened. But once alone in my room, I felt the heavy burden of depression. The silent treatment she gave me, as if punishing me though I apologized for whatever wrong I did (it was a misunderstanding).
Trying not to feel the pain in my heart that much, I kept myself busy re-arranging and cleaning my stuffs in the room. Then, when I get hold of paper and pen, I just couldn't stop myself from writing down what I felt that time.
So, that is what I did. It wasn't so proper (I guess) compared to the Best Friend forever poem but that is just what I had in mind on that time.

p.s: Things had gone better between me and my friend and the awkward-ness is gone. Thank God :)

#4 Looking at others

While waiting for the upload in my Dropbox, I thought of updating a little bit of my blog.

Easily, we can be jealous of others. Though we might say it out loud, there is that tiny little puny feeling of jealousy towards other. I'm not talking about in relationship type of jealousy where the boyfriend/girlfriend is jealous when there's a third party. I'm talking about jealous towards what the others have, and wishing we are in their place.

Often in life, especially when we are not contented enough with what we had, we wished we had what other people have.

"I want to look pretty like her".
"I wish to have big house/car like him!"
"If only I have ... like him/her" 
"She's lucky that her project is easier unlike me"

Above dialogue or those that are similar to it, does show that the person saying it is not content with what he/she had and is indeed 'jealous' of what the other party have, right? :P

Honestly, I myself have thoughts (tons of it, in fact!) like that everyday. But then, I stopped. I asked myself..

"Am I not contented with what I had? Am I not thankful to God of what He had given me?"

I remembered Sis Hazlin ever told me a story of Saidina Umar al-Khattab radhiallahu anhu (may Allah be pleased with him). Saidina Umar said that if sabr (patience) and thankful (syukur) are two vehicles; he wouldn't mind taking both as both are important.

Being thankful has been mentioned quite a number of times in the Al-Quran itself. So, are we thankful enough in our life?

Who knows, if what you have now is the BEST for you? :)

Look of what you have positively before looking at others. (source)

#3 The ideas within the angst

Due to the stress and tension surrounding me, sometimes I can easily feel frustrated, angry sad et cetera. But I know better from my own experiences that being actively reactive to those emotions is not the best option most of the time. Therefore, I must endure and be patience though it felt quite painful sometimes. 

At times,  I've felt  like exploding because of certain things. But then. I 'talked' to myself in my thoughts..Will it be worth it in the future?What will the consequences be then?What are the changes it'll bring; good or bad?Finally, I realized that though the 'explosion' is too powerful within, I have to be strong. That is why; a strong person is the one who can held his/her anger.

Above is my Facebook status that I honestly *just* had to make. Most probably because of the emotional tensions cracking inside of me? Hurmm. Anyway, as soon as I posted that status, I felt slightly better. Maybe because I wasn't holding it in too much or maybe because it's as if I'm letting it out (Wait, isn't both the same? o.O) 

Feeling slightly better suddenly gave me an idea; why not just post it in the blog? So, then I thought.. well, blog post is not necessarily long, right? At least, my blog reader may or may not be the person who know me. If he/she doesn't know me well, then they'll be less speculation of what I'm posting about.. I guess? 

Ah, enough ranting. I'll just update whatever I could XD 

Coming up next..God's willing, using Blogger App in SAMSUNG GALAXY NOTE 2 smartphone to update new post. :)