Without prejudice..with open minded.. welcome to my blog; where I share because I care. :)

Saturday 29 April 2017

#44 Story: The Strongest in Ikebukuro?

Thunk!

Ashra felt her breathe was stopped for a few seconds and her life as she knows it reflected in her mind for few moments. Catching up her breath, she looked at a vending machine in front of her. It was upside down, bent and its wires pulled out with force.

"Not again..." she hissed. Knowing well what does flying vending machine in Ikebukuro meant. She tilted her her head to one side and saw exactly what she had thought. She said heavily and placed her palm on her forehead. Ashra walked towards the crowd where a fight broke between a group of male youngsters and one man wearing a bartender uniform with blue sunglasses. The lone man was currently holding a STOP signboard. Suddenly, three boys with weapons charged to the man from his back. Just like a beast, he sensed them straight away and swing the signboard - eventually sending the assailants flying away. Other boys in the gang start charging to the man too, but he repelled them one by one with punches and kicks. And swinging signboard too. When the last man was knocked out, then only the fight stopped. The bartender let go of the signboard and panted. That was tiring, he thought. He straightened up himself, then turned to walk away from the scene. He hates violence honestly but he can't control his emotions and super-human strength. He didn't started the fight too. As he took his first step, he raised his head and looked ahead. He stopped at the sight of a familiar figure. 

"Shizucchi..!!" Ashra called out loud. Shizuo gulped and tried walking steadily as if nothing happened. 

Ashra grabbed the collar of Shizuo's shirt and pulled his face close to hers. "What did I told you about fighting?!" she scolded, ignoring the looks from people surrounding them. "I didn't start the fight. That flea was the one bringing those brats..!" Shizuo explained, not in the way he should have though. "Then stop chasing after Izaya every single time you saw him!" she scolded again. "NO WAY! That damn flea! He run away just as I was about to kick his ass!" he grunted, just the thought of Izaya made him cringed and boiled his anger. Ashra sighed, still not letting go of his shirt yet. Then, she looked into his eyes through the blue glass. "Promise me, no more fighting after this okay? I don't want you to get hurt," she said softly. Eventually, she gave up scolding him. Dating the strongest man in Ikebukuro, plus the man himself have short temper is never easy. Shizuo calmed himself down and slowly, his hand reached to her head. He controlled his strength with all his might as he caressed her head. "I'm sorry," he apologized, placing his forehead on her head. Though he knew he doesn't get hurt that easily, he still did not want his girlfriend to be worried about him too much. 

"Oh, wait! I have something for you," she looked up suddenly that she actually headbutt Shizuo. "OUCH!" he cried, feeling the pain on his forehead. If it anyone else, he might threw that person flying in the Ikebukuro's sky by now. Ashra started searching for something inside her bag. Shizuo smirked at his girlfriend, still rubbing his forehead. "What's up with you?" he asked, sounding indifferent. Anyone passing by might never guess those two were actually dating.

She stopped scrounging her belongings and looked at Shizuo with a grin. "Seriously, Ashra. What's wrong with you?" Shizuo asked again. He almost used the f-word but managed to stopped his mouth from doing so. He knew how much she hated it; he thought most probably because her being a teacher.

"Give me your right hand, please," Ashra requested. She raised her left hand with open palm suggesting to Shizuo to place his right hand on her palm. He did, though a little reluctant. God knows what she's planning now, he thought.  As soon as she get hold of his hand, she pulled out a string of thread from her bag. She tied it as bracelet on his hand.

"There. Done." She looked at him like a happy puppy while he could not hide his bewilderment. Shizuo took a closer look at his own hand. "Why are you giving me this?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Giving a rather proud grin, she replied, "Shizucchi, as long as you have this bracelet on.. I hope you would stop vandalizing things in this town."

"EH?"

"If I asked you to stop fighting straightaway, that won't work. I know. So, at the very least.. please stop destroying public properties," she explained. "Promise me this," she said sternly.

"Ceh," Shizuo looked away. Then, he take a look at the bracelet. "I promise," he murmured, with a mixed feelings.

***

"IIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAYAAAAA!!"

Izaya sensed absolute danger from the voice calling out his name. Without further ado, he fastened his steps as Shizuo was chasing after him. At first, Shizuo hated Izaya for framing him for a crime he never committed. But now, he just hated the fact that Izaya is alive and kickin' in Ikebukuro, enough said. 

"I told you to never come to Ikebukuro ever again!" he yelled. Izaya turned to his back while still walking fast steadily. Furthering himself away from the blond man. Izaya smirked, "I can't never leave these interesting people. You know how much I love people. Just like how I love playing with you." 

Shizuo's anger could never be tame when it comes to Izaya. As usual, emotion over rational, he grabbed a soft drink vending machine with his mighty strength. With bare hands, he lifted the vending machine as if it's a light box and then threw it over to where Izaya was. Izaya jumped from one car to another then blending himself into the busy crowd to get away. Anyone new in Ikebukuro might thought that he is a parkour master, for he truly is good in running away in any way possible. Especially when it comes to running away from Shizuo. Therefore, he managed to escape yet another flying big object thrown at him in Ikebukuro.

As soon as he lose sight of Izaya, Shizuo calmed himself down. He was panting. Nobody dare to come close to him.  Finally, as his rationality overtook his emotions,  he realised he had done something he shouldn't have done. He looked up to the vending machine he had thrown several feet away and he could almost felt the nagging he'll get from Ashra.

"Shit, I better get back to Tom now," he said, walking back to where he left his boss, Tom.

He walked while catching up his breathe. Suddenly, he felt his chest tightened. His breathing became heavier. Something's wrong, he thought. He couldn't stand properly. He felt a pang of dizziness swarming to his head.

"That fucking Izaya, did he do something to me?" he muttered. He lean against the wall sideways as he keep on moving. He need to find someone, anyone who could help him. He saw the glimpse of Tom in front of him but in a split second he fell because there was no more wall for him to lean on.

Shizuo opened his eyes and felt like he experienced a blackout for a few moments. The tightness in his chest gone as well as the dizziness in his head. He saw Tom walking past him. He called out to him, but it was not his normal voice that he heard.

"Nyaan"

What is going on?!, he thought intensely. He raised his hands and all he can see was a white furry paws. He tried touching his face, it's so unfamiliar. He looked around his body again, all he can see was white furs. He saw his blue glass on the pavement and walked right to it. Wait, it feels more like walking with four legs. Seriously?!, he thought again. As he moved closer to the glasses, he can see a silhouette. He knew it was him but somehow it did not look like him at all. When his view became clearer, everything became clear to him too.

He is a cat now. A DAMN CAT. He turned around and found his bartender uniform laying on the floor, shirt perfectly inside the vest - as if he just vanished to the thin air. His bowtie and glasses were laying around and the one thing he still have on his body, cat body, is the bracelet Ashra gave him.

Just as he was about to grasp the meaning of what's happening, his surroundings turned darker. He turned and Tom was standing in front of him. Tom has a shocked look on his face as he squat down and held Shizuo's uniform.

"What in the world?" Tom wondered. He looked around and turned back to the uniform, glasses and cat.

"Hey, kitty. Do you know where my buddy Shizuo went?" he asked the cat.

"Meow meow meowwww," Shizuo cat said which actually mean, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Tom scratched the back of his head, puzzled with what has been happening. He saw Shizuo a moment ago before his bodyguard fell to the alley junction. He ran as fast as he could towards Shizuo but couldn't find anyone around. Then, he only found his uniform. Weird.

"Argh. Maybe Shizuo has gone back home naked," he murmured.

Another sneer meowing was heard from the cat, which translated as "Why would I ever go anywhere naked, you dumbass."

Tom took Shizuo's belongings with him and walked away, leaving the cat by itself. Though Shizuo keep meowing to attract his attention so that Tom could at least bring him back home. But apparently, Tom does not speak cat language.

That night, Shizuo wandered around Ikebukuro as a cat. It was colder that night. Most probably because he has no clothes on it. Well, he's a fucking cat. It'll be weird if a cat is wearing clothes wandering around the town. But then again, the town itself is a place of weirdness. He felt lost for the first time in his own hometown. He walked past Russian sushi, Simon handing out flyers as usual. Surprisingly, the friendly big man even greeted him.

"Neko-chan, do you want to try so sushi? Sushi is good. Because sushi is fish and fish is good for cat," he spoke in his unique Japanese accent.

That reminded Shizuo how hungry he was. He wanted to say yes, but his answer came out as a meow. He thought of a way to ensure Simon understood that he really, really want that sushi. Then, he remembered how Ashra feed the cat in her school. She could always tell that the cat was hungry when the cat rubbed itself on her legs. So, Shizuo did the same thing. He rubbed himself against Simon's legs. It got Simon laughing and petted his furry head. The big Russian guy then lifted Shizuo's small body and brought him into the sushi-ya.

"Boss, is the leftover sushi still there? I wanted to feed this poor cat," Simon asked permission from the main chef. The main chef, a white Russian man was rumoured to be a mafia before becoming chef. He always had a stern expression on him but nevertheless gave sound advices to his customers when he felt like so.

"Yes. Go faster, don't let the cat disturb the customer," Chef permitted.

Simon walked to the inner kitchen of the sushi-ya and took a plate of various leftover sushi. Colourful but the taste are definitely questionable. Shizuo was reluctant to eat it at first but with Simon keep shoving the place to his face and his stomach started making noise, he had no better choice. Not that he could walked up to a fast food store and ordered food for himself, right.

Shizuo ate almost all of the sushi on the plate. Surprisingly it tasted normal. Maybe because he's a cat now? He had no idea. He thanked Simon for his kindness and Simon patted him again. Simon lifted him up again and this time they went out of the store. Simon let him go and waved him goodbye. Shizuo meowed at Simon again, thinking where to go next.

Shizuo walked few blocks and saw the same group of youngsters that attacked him few days ago making ruckus in the crowd.  They came with iron bars, bats and other things as their weapons and waved it in the air. They were yelling like crazy nuts too, Shizuo thought.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!! NOW THAT SHIZUO IS MISSING, WE RULE THIS TOWN!!" Shizuo heard one of them yelled.

Hoh?, he thought. He stopped and observed those barbaric youngsters more. It was less than 24 hours that he turned into a cat and now these bastards thought they could be idiots forever.

"I wish Shizuo is still alive!" cried someone in the crowd.

"He is the strongest but he never do harm at us like these hooligans!" cried another. It was echoed with another cries from the crowd as the gangsters keep vandalizing and hurting anyone who gets to their way.

What the hell? Why is everyone acted as if I'm dead? Tom thinks I'm dead?

Such questions filled his head and he started running. He bumped into three high schoolers he had seen talking to Ashra. One of them is Masaomi. The girl picked him up and held him close to her chest.

"Poor cat. Getting caught up in this chaos. What is wrong with those people?" she asked.

"I heard from Izaya that Shizuo was dead but no trace of his dead body found. He said Shizuo-san most probably died outside of Ikebukuro," Masaomi replied. The other boy had a deep thinking expression, as if disbelieving the story.

Regardless, Shizuo found that one reason enough to boil his anger. ORIHARA IZAYA. That pest has been spreading rumors about him dead, most probably he stumbled upon Tom while Tom was searching for Shizuo.

Shizuo struggled to get away from the girl's arms and jumped out into the crowd. Izaya would most probably be around.

"Ah! Get away from me!" a girl shouted in the middle of the crowd.

ASHRA! Shizuo quickly turned and run towards the voice. She was being held by one of the hooligans.

"Get...away...from me!!" she struggled but the man's grip grew harder on her and it's painful. She cried from pain and became weaker. But still not too weak that she tried kicking her captor next. Two more men came and took a grip on her. Another man came to tie her with a black rope.

Shizuo stood in front of them. Angered. But realizing that he was in a cat body, there's little that he could do. He saw another man walked towards Ashra. He grabbed her by her jaw and made her looked at him. Shizuo was still standing and watching, frozen at his own position.

"He he he. I know you're Heiwajima Shizuo's woman. It was unfortunate that he didn't die with my hands, though I would really love that. But alas, he's dead. I can still get my vengeance through you!" the last man said. He was the boss of the gangster, it seems.

Disgust was clearly shown on Ashra's face.

"Don't you dare say that he's dead! He's not dead yet!!" she exclaimed. Once again, struggling to be freed.

Pang! A slap landed on her face. Shizuo's heart broke as he saw her face reddened and her nose started bleeding. His claws were drawn, gripping firmly on the ground. He snarled fiercely at the men holding Ashra.

The boss turned to the cat. Mocking it with a mere 'heh'.

Shizuo gathered all the strength he ever had in his lifetime and jumped towards the men. He scratched and bit them ferociously, without any second thought. One by one the men leave Ashra alone. Ashra sat down on the ground and managed to untie herself.

"What are you idiots looking at?! Capture that cat!" the boss instructed. Everyone else in the gang tried capturing Shizuo. None succeed and all they get are scratches and bite holes on their body. All of them ended up bleeding, painfully. In the nick of time, police siren were heard nearby; sending the  gangster to fled the area.

Shizuo, the cat walked towards Ashra and rubbed his head on her. She was trying her best not to cry as she gently caressed the cat on its head and neck. She lifted the cat up and hug it tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered weakly. "You are just like Shizucchi," she murmured before breaking into tears. The high school trio were her students and they ran to her to comfort her. Then, Some policewomen came and helped her to the ambulance too. With the little strength left, she refused to let go of the white cat that saved her life. She brought it home with her.

"Please take care and make sure you locked the house properly. I will keep searching for him until I find him. I know Shizuo, he would not simply disappear," Tom said. He helped to send Ashra home.

Ashra nodded and excused herself before locking the apartment's door. Slowly, she walked to her room and lay down on the bed. She grabbed the head pillow next to her and sniffed the familiar smell of Shizuo. It was his pillow. Once again, she couldn't help to cry.

Shizuo heard her cry and quickly jumped on the bed. "Nyaa.." he called out. He wanted to hold her so badly and tell her that he's here, next to her. And also to tell her that everything is going to be fine.

Ashra stopped crying and sobbed when she let the cat to lay next to her. She keep caressing the cat as her memories were full with Shizuo's memories. Where are you now, she wondered. At the very thought of Shizuo, the cat responded to her. With the cat by her side, she felt calm and secured. She eventually fell asleep with the last tear drop.

"Nyaa.." Shizuo meowed, saying "I love you". He tucked himself into Ashra's embrace and fall asleep too.

The next day, Shizuo woke up feeling cold. He turned around and he's in his own bedroom. I'm back to normal, he thought. He looked at his hands but much to his disappointment, it's still a furry paws. UGH.

Nobody was in the room anymore. So, he stretched his body and yawned as big as he could open that cat mouth of his. Feeling better, he jumped down the bed and walked out from the bedroom. He heard sounds from the kitchen so he headed to the kitchen. He found Ashra making her morning drinks and some bread toasts. She turned and saw him, she smiled.

She placed an empty container in front of the cat and poured milk into the container. "Good thing Shizuo loves milk," she said. "Please drink a lot," she added, patting the head of the cat.

How can I tell you that I'm Shizuo, he thought as he licked the milk.

Ashra was walking from the kitchen counter to the dining table several times. At times, she'll glanced at the cat. After a few times, she stopped. She just realised something. She kneeled down to the cat and reached out for its right front leg.

"This...bracelet.." she muttered. She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands.

"Shizucchi?" she called out. The cat turned and looked at her.

"Nyaa.."

Tears dropped from her ears again. She shook her head in disbelief. But part of her wanted to believe it. Believing it so badly.

"Really?" she asked again. This time she drew her face closer to the cat. The cat moved closer to her too. It licked her cheek and meowed again.

"But how..?" she sounded crazy but her heart keeps telling her to believe. She panicked and tried to think of so many stuffs that her head hurts. She stopped panicking and tried to calm herself. She took a deep breathe and exhaled.

"At the very least, I know you are here. You protected me last night, Shizuo," she cried.

Shizuo felt tears on his eyes too. No matter what form he is now, he felt contented as long as he coudl protect the one he loved. He rubbed his head on her lap.

Ashra fell into resilence for few minutes. Thinking and making sense of things that happened. She stood up and reached for her handphone. She dialled a number and waited for the call to be connected. Shizuo could only watched her. He looked around and managed to get himself up to the dining table top. Ashra stroked his head gently and left as soon as the call got connected.

"Moshi moshi. Tom-san? Ashra here. Yeah, I'm fine. I need to ask you something important. What happened yesterday before Shizuo disappeared? Yes. En. En. Oh, I see. Okay, thank you. I'll let you know if there's any update. It's okay, you've done enough. Thank you once again, Tom," she ended the phone call. Placing the handphone on the table, Ashra approached Shizuo. 

"I think I know the right person to help you," she claimed. "I'll go get ready now," she rushed into the bedroom to change. Ashra took her handphone and shoved it into her bag. She lifted and carried Shizuo with her.

As soon as they got out from the apartment, a small group of men were gathering in front of the unit. It was the same men last night.

These shitty pests are persistent, Shizuo thought. He growled at them and his furs stood up with his claws drawn out. His claws were gripping Ashra's hand and luckily because she felt the pain, she had to let go of him. At the same moment, one of the men tried to capture Shizuo too. Shizuo jumped to his head and scratched the back of his head. Another men tried capturing the cat but the small creature was just too fast and strong for them. After fiercely scratching and biting them, Shizuo landed on the floor next to a flower pot.

Heh, maybe I should try this, he had a crazy thought. Well, not that he's doing anything out of ordinary for a Heiwajima Shizuo. Slowly stepping back for a few steps, Shizuo carefully not letting his sight away from his assailants. With his paws, he grabbed the flower pot and lifted it up. 

"Nyaaaaaa....!!!!!"


With all his strength in the cat form, he threw the flower pot to the men. It was shocking and scary enough for them to realize that they are no match to that cat. They ran as fast as they could away from the apartment.

Ashra who witnessed everything turned to Shizuo and smiled. Feeling proud of her little furry Shizucchi. She lifted him up and carried her to the place she intended to bring him.

The taxi stopped in front of a shrine. Ashra stepped out of the taxi with Shizuo after paying the fee. She walked into the shrine's compound and turned right. If it is possible, Shizuo would actually be raised one of his eyebrows now. Ashra seems to be familiar with the shrine and she knew exactly where to go.

"Miko-sama!" she called out. A priestess walked out from one of the small side building of the shrine.  

"Ashra-san?" 

"Miko-sama, please help me. Shizucchi has turned into a cat," Ashra cried. She held the cat higher for the priestess to see. The priestess' eyes grown bigger. She turned to Ashra. 

"What happened exactly?"

"I gave the bracelet you gave me few days ago to Shizucchi. I made him promise to me that he would stop vandalising things in the town. Before coming here, I called Tom-san. He told me that out of rage, Shizucchi threw a vending machine.. again. Tom-san was finally able to catch up with Shizucchi after the dispute and said that Shizucchi looked sick when he saw him. He fell on the ground and when Tom-san reached him, he was already gone. The only belonging on Shizucchi that Tom did not returned to me last evening was the bracelet."

The priestess nodded at Ashra's story. She turned to the cat and said, "You broke your promise. Therefore you were turned into a cat."

Oh, Shizuo said internally. He told himself to knock Ashra's head for getting the weird bracelet in the first place.

"Miko-sama, please! Can you please turned him back to normal? Because.. though he's a cat now, he still protected me and saved my life from bad guys twice since last night. Please... I can't live without Shizucchi," Ashra plead in sobs.

"Then why did you want him to wear the bracelet in the first place?" the priestess asked.

Ashra looked down and replied, "Because I am worried about him. I don't want him to get into trouble. In terms of fighting, I know he is strong enough to protect himself. But whenever he grabbed those signboards or machines like plucking flowers, I'm worried if he'll be arrested.. or that he'll eventually hurt innocent people in the crowd. Shizucchi hates violence, and never wanted to use his strength on innocent people."

Shizuo looked at Ashra. She was looking out for him more than he ever thought she did. She thought of things beyond for his sake. Deep in his heart, he regretted for not realizing this sooner. He should know better of not letting Izaya to get to him every time.

The priestess turned her look to Shizuo. "I really hope that you learnt your lesson now, Heiwajima Shizuo," she said sternly. She patted Ashra on her shoulder and told her that things will be okay. She brought Shizuo into the shrine and performed a ritual on him. She brought him back to Ashra who were waiting anxiously for them outside.

"Eh?" Ashra was clearly disappointed at the fact that the priestess came out with a male cat, not a human male.

"Don't be hasty. Bring him home. Clean and bath him. Give him something to eat or drink. Then, let him rest. He'll be normal after getting the rest," the priestess advised. Ashra took Shizuo into her embrace. After thanking the priestess, they went back home.

Ashra did everything she was told. Finally, she tucked Shizuo to sleep on their bed.

At least this process is less painful than before, Shizuo thought gratefully. Somehow his eyes felt heavy and he couldn't help but to fall asleep. Ashra felt the same and fell asleep next to the cat.

Few hours later, Shizuo felt pain all over his body. His throat felt a burning sensation, his chest tightened. He felt poking pain in his head and his muscles were feeling mellow. It was hard for him to open his eyes. After trying hard, he finally did.

He's in his room. He lifted his hands and it's a normal human hands. He wanted to quickly sat up but stopped at the pain he felt in his body. He grunted and slowly laid his back on the bed.

His voice and movement woke Ashra up. She sat up next to him, happiness shown on her face. She bit her lower lip, forcing herself not to cry. Her hands were shaking as they touch his body. She turned to him, their eyes met. Her hands moved up and cupped his face. Without words, only their gaze talking. She leaned closer to him, their lips met. His hands on her waist. He felt like the pain was slowly leaving him. He gathered his recovering strength and lifted her up to sit on him. He stroked her back gently. Their kiss broke and they looked at each other's eyes again.

"I'm glad you're back," she whispered.

"Even if I'm a cat, I'll be the strongest cat in Ikebukuro for you," he said, both of them giggling.

"It's good to be home. To your side," he whispered to her ear. 

#43: Without notice..a year hiatus.

Oh, my dear Lord.

I didn't realized that I have left this blog for a year without any new post.

It's not like there's any avid reader anyway, right? But it just felt good to write something about it. (Aish, you weirdo self!)

I also realized that I didn't publish the Durarara! fanfic I had written for Heiwajima Shizuo. I will do so after this post.

Just a little update on myself first :P

I have finally get to my Viva Voce session on 15th December 2016. I was given minor correction with 3 months correction period. I have started working part time in a company (thanks to Mdm Jay's help) from August and in November, I started working full time. So, I had little time to do my corrections as I always had to fly to KL with my boss for meetings.

Worse part of all? On the very day I have set and wanted to meet my SV after finishing the major corrections in my thesis, I was sent to hospital due to an extreme pain in my right lower abdomen. It was found that I have a twisted ovarian cyst and it had to be operated on the same day. There is no painkiller strong enough to relieve me from the excruciating pain of it and surgery is the only way.

But, thankfully and fortunately, I had prepared myself for any contingency and applied for thesis submission extension. I was given one more month to submit my corrected thesis draft.
Today, I went to UMS in the morning to submit my second thesis draft after the first one was rejected due to wrong formatting (curse you, university self proclaimed writing style!) and some of the equations became weird with unknown symbols due to printing error. *I forgot to lock my battery and accidentally push it out from the laptop, making the whole laptop shut down forcefully* My beloved junior (the kouhai I've mentioned here) who had become one of my best friend had helped to get the first draft and explanation from the Postgrad officer in charge because I was at work.

So many things had happened over the past year. I missed my opportunities to write it here due to my laziness. But it's never too late for 2017 (yeah!!). Hence, I shall try to write as much as I could now. 
*sudden blank mind*

Anyway, it's getting late and I should take my flu medicine now and go to sleep. 

But last but not least, I'M FINALLY FINISHING MY MASTERS!!!! heck yeahhhh!!

Wednesday 1 July 2015

#42 Music: ワタリドリ / The Migrating Bird

Ohoyy!

Finally back from the deaded-ness of NO UPDATE land.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a song from another great Japanese band. Hoho~

This time.. I am introducing [Alexandros] to this blog. Yeah, 'cause there's high chances of pals who like and love Japanese band(s) knew these guys since ages ago. I knew about them since I started being active in Tumblr in the ONE OK ROCK (OOR) fandom..then as the number of followers-cum-friends increases, I started to get to know more. More bands, more anime, more manga, more possibilities in life...aahhh.

But then, trying to keep myself under control i.e. reducing procrastination from my beloved Masters study, I limit myself to be into a lot of band as much as I did to OOR (but unfortunately I can't escape the charm from Fuji-kun..so yeah) - I mean, limiting in the sense of fangirling too much? Sorry, I am very bad in words. (u.u);; I do listen to other bands like Coldrain (thanks to bear sis Liezt) and some other. But again, I wasn't into them that much.

So, this time... at 2 AM ish in the morning, I was going through my iTunes and went to the JPOP section. I thought I wanted to listen to new songs to be played in the lab while doing my works.

[Alexandros]'s 5th album came up suggested and I check on the songs' preview. I fell in love with the first song! ワタリドリ. Below is the MV of the song (hicks, def got that from writing my thesis drafts).




What I wanted to share here is not just the song... but the inspirations I got as I listened to it again and again during the weekend evenings.

I pictured myself, after finally finishing this bloody Masters study...going travelling to some part of Japan (as I've always wanted to) but maybe due to Barakamon anime influence, I was in the village/community like one in the anime XD But of course, it was fun in interacting with the people in the community. Welp, I do hope it will come true one day! >.<

Monday 20 April 2015

#41 Bashing or advising?


Earlier tonight I had this argument with this certain fellow *good friend* of mine.

Source of argument? My Facebook status.

Yeah, I was so angry (mostly frustrated) when somebody (who are using the research lab I'm currently residing in) did not take proper care of their stuffs to the point that it could jeopardised my work. So, I ended up posting this in the same morning:

My Facebook status

It's been there since Wednesday.. I think? Ah, yes. Wednesday. Then only today this guy checked his FB and told me in LINE that he saw this post. Thennnn he started preaching about "following devil's step" "let anger control you" etc. I do not want to argue, for God's sake. So I said "I know what I wrote" and "I had my reason". Guess what, he bashed me back with "then, if I killed someone. I'll just tell the police that I had my reason" 

I was like "DUDEEEEEEEE". Come on!

First of all, I know who I am referring to. I know when talking about LAB stuffs, only those with the LIMITED access to the lab are involved. So they know who they are. 

Next, I don't want to be waiting in the lab for the research assistants (RA) or final year project (FYP) students - just to attack them about 'being reckless'. I WANT TO AVOID ACCUSING PEOPLE as well as AVOID UNNECESSARY TENSION in the lab. You stupid ah? Can't you try to understand others first? 

AND YOUR CHOICES OF WORDS, DUDE. Seriously?! When I confronted him on the phone directly (thanks to 'having unlimited call and SMS' plan), I asked him why he keeps bashing me though I tried to respond to him nicely. He said he was not bashing me. FINE. But his choices of words shown otherwise. I seriously can't with this type of people. Why can't you improve your English (or whatever main language you'll be communicating with) so that you will not be misunderstood? This is not the first time I told him that the way he talks or types when it comes to critics is like bashing instead of advising. The worst of all would be AS IF EVERYTHING IS ON ME (the listener/reader). I even offered teaching him proper English but noooooo~ he can't stand studying. -_-|| 

Okay, I am done ranting here. I don't want ending up by writing bad things that I could've bash on him. That is not the point of this at all okay~ 

*yawn* I am very the jealous seeing Yuko sleeping soundly in front of me. I wonder if I would be able to sustain my sanity throughout the day since I have not sleep since 10.40ish AM yesterday. 

Monday 13 April 2015

#40 Story: Replacement

"Your children are so cute," said the girl behind the cashier counter as I reached the counter with Bradley and Cameron. Bradley was a seven years old boy with blond curly hair while Cameron, a two years old girl with black curly hair. "Thank you," I replied. The cashier girl was looking at both of the children. "The baby girl looks more like you," she continued as I put my grocery items on the counter. "Do they have the same father?" the young girl added. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, but I ain't making any scene. Calmly, I responded, "They have the same father, dear." I realized Bradley was looking at me with a blank look, maybe thinking over about what the girl had said. I hoped he didn't have the wrong idea.

"He has your curly hair though," the cashier girl said. She was looking at Bradley as he diligently put all items from our grocery cart to the counter. I just smiled. The cashier girl smiled back at me as she scanned each items - her smile was sweet and genuine. She didn't know our story, she didn't have to know.
After she had done scanning all our grocery items and I paid the amount, I said thank you to her and walked out from the market with my kids.

We walked to the car park together. Cameron sat comfortably on the cart while Bradley walked besides the cart. Bradley was checking on one of the paper bags. "Can I eat the ice cream in the car?" he asked. He looked up at me with his eyes twitching because of the sunlight. "Sure,dear. But promise me that you won't spill it on the car. Alright?" I made a deal. "Alright," he replied, looking forward.

After loading all our paper bags of groceries into the car and I placed Cameron on the baby's car chair safely, I drove us back home.

***

Peter was already at home when the children and I got home. He went out to help us out with the paper bags. Bradley went up into his room after we have done sorting out the groceries. I put Cameron on the high chair. Peter stayed with me in the kitchen to arrange all the items into the cabinets. As I was putting the flours into the upper cabinet, I realized a pair of brown eyes looking at me intensely. I turned and clearly, Peter was looking at me with a worried expression.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked, closing the cabinet's doors. I gently rubbed his arm,maybe unconsciously hoping to make him feel better. He moved closer to me, his hand reached my cheek. Gently, he caressed my face like he always does. He smiled at me.

"I was the one who should be asking that, you know," he said. Before I could say anything, he added, "I know something is troubling you. Honey, I know that look on your face when something is on your mind."

Ah, this man. The man whom I married three years ago. The man that I had fall in love with since I met him a year before our marriage. He knew me well that he completes me. My one true partner in life.

I looked away from him to Cameron briefly before I turned back to him. I wished I had the bravery to speak out loud while looking right to his eyes. Unfortunately, I didn't. I looked down as I slowly opened my mouth to tell him. My lips were stammering. My heart felt a growing ache.

"It happened again," I started. "People looked at me outside with these kids, asking me if they're my kids. When I said yes, they'll ask again if they have the same father. Just..just because they don't look alike and..and..Bradley has no resemblance to me," I explained. I couldn't stop the tears coming out and Peter quickly hugged me to calm me down. Cameron was minding her own business with her toys, she was too small to understand anything.

"I love them both. I love Bradley as much as I love Cameron as my own child. There is no difference between them," I said between sobs. Peter rubbed my back and kissed my forehead several times. "I know, honey. I know," he whispered.

"I could never take the place of Bradley's real mother. But I will keep my promise to take care of him as my own," I didn't even know why I kept talking between sobs. I just felt like pouring all the inside out. I guessed Peter knew about it so he didn't stopped me.

Truth is, Peter was married before he met me. Bradley was his son from his first marriage. Peter's first wife passed away when Bradley was 4 years old. Another truth is, Bradley never called me 'mommy', 'mom' or even 'mama'. I,myself nor Peter never forced him to, because we both knew that he might still remember his real mother and miss her so much.

"I...I...I can't never replaced his real mother. Even so, I still...love him as much as I love Cameron. My heart aches every time people pointed out to me that he doesn't look like my child. I know he's not, but I still love him. He is still your son, Peter," the aching in my heart was deepen that I stammered as I speak. Peter pushed me gently and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I know that. I'm sure Bradley knows it well too," he assured. Again, he kissed my forehead to calm me down. I sobbed.

There was moment of silence except for my sobbing and Cameron's innocent playing voice.

"Mom, please don't cry."

I raised my eyes and looked up to Peter. He looked as surprised as I did. My heart was pounding. Is it what I thought it is? Was I hallucinating? Is it a dream or an illusion?

I turned to the kitchen's doorway and I saw Bradley standing there. Peter turned to him too. Slowly he walked towards us.

"Mom, please don't cry," he said again. "I know that you love me as much as you love Cameron. And I love you too," he added. He came closer to me. As he stood right in front of me, he looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes too but he was smiling genuinely.

"You are not a replacement for Mama. Mama is Mama. And you are Mom. Mom for me and Cameron."

Such words from a seven years old, I couldn't not hold myself any longer. I reached out my hands and hugged me tightly. Dear God, this is the day when I felt the love of family.

Peter went to carry Cameron from her high chair and walked back to me and Bradley. He together with little Cameron joined our hug. After a good one minute of family hug, everyone let go. Peter stood between me and Bradley while still carrying Cameron. Cameron was waving her hands happily when suddenly she spoke out her first word, "Mama."

*this story was featured in my combined blog here previously*

Sunday 12 April 2015

#39 HAPPY 36TH BIRTHDAY, FUJIWARA MOTOO

今日は藤原基央さんの誕生日です!

Today, APRIL 12th 2015 is the birthday of Fujiwara Motoo of BUMP OF CHICKEN.

This person, who definitely does not know I am personally. Nor do I to him.

But all I know is that, because he was born on this date 36 years ago, I was able to enjoy beautiful songs and music.

Along the way, I learnt more and more about him. I fell for this guy.

I love how he writes his song's lyrics, as if he is telling stories in each song.
I love how he sings, his voice melodically tells the story of the song.
I love how he smiles and laughs shyly. 
I love how he answers the letters in his B-Pass column - funny and witty too. But that is just him being him.
In every performance (that I ever watched), he and everyone gives their all.



藤原さんへ、
お誕生日おめでとう。
I wish for your happiness.. always. 
Keep rocking our world with your songs and music!


Friday 10 April 2015

#38 Story: Pen pal

The boy was reluctantly biting his lower lips. He held the small gift box firmly inside his jacket's pocket. The girl stood in front of him, waiting for him to speak.

He was her pen pal and she was visiting his country with her friends. They had exchange correspondence for months and finally get the chance to meet.

Earlier this morning, as they walked in the park with their group of friends, the girl spotted her favourite band members and got excited. She hugged them and for the vocalist, her favourite member, she hugged him few times. She took pictures with them and the vocalist, Fujiwara was very kind to her.  He watched her excitement and felt a bit pang of jealousy.
In the cold night of winter, both of them stood outside a restaurant while their friends were enjoying their meals inside.

He went out to clear his mind of the mixed feelings he had been having. She excused herself to make a phone call to her parents back home. Then, she joined him and caught him startled. Because he was busy thinking to himself about her.

"So, you haven't told me why are you standing outside by yourself?" she asked again, raising her right eyebrow.

"I.. I just wanted to clear my head. That's..all. Yeah, that's all," he stammered.
"Oh, okay. Hmm.." She paused. She looked as though she was thinking on saying something.

"Yes? You want to say something?" He asked.

"Kind of. But maybe nevermind. I should head back," she replied.

"Oh." Deep inside he was hoping that they can spend more private time together though.

As she took her steps, she stopped few times. Being undecided, she turned to him again. She inhaled deeply as she looked at him. Exhaling, she asked, "You got something in your pocket, right?"

"Ah? I.. no..no.."

"Don't lie, Ayato. What is it?" She asked again. She too, wanted to spend more time with him, alone.

"It's.. Well, I will tell you if you tell me what is it that you want to say just now. Deal?" He smiled like a child. Not that he was confident that that was a good step to take but he just didn't know what else to say.

The girl thought for few seconds. "Okay. Deal," she decided. "But you must show me what it is first," she said.

"Okay. But! You promise to tell?" He needed assurance from her. "Yes, promise!"

"Hmm..okay then." He slowly took out the small gift box and shown it to here. "So cute!" She remarked with a wide smile. "Somebody gave to you?" she asked, inspecting the little box without touching it.

He shook his head. "I wanted to give it to someone." He replied. As she looked up to him, he added, "To you. Take it." He slightly moved his hand forward to her. She blinked her eyes few times in disbelief. She took the box anyway.

She found a pretty bracelet with half heart pendant attached to it inside the box. She smiled with excitement.

"I love it!! Thank you!!" She jumped and hugged him. He was taken by surprise. He hugged her back with mixed feelings.

"So, what is it that you wanted to say just now?" He asked, reminding her of their deal. She broke away from the hug. She turned around, as if making sure nobody nearby.

She gestured him to get closer to her, since he is taller than her anyway. She moved closer to his ear and whispered, "I like Ayato. Because you are kind and wondeful friend."

She smiled as he turned to her slowly. He felt much more confused now. Did he just got friend-zoned, as they said it in the internet?

"Like?"

"Yes, 'suki'. Ayato-kun no koto ga daisuki da," she said.

His face turned red. "Nana, that is.. you sound like you just confessed to me. I mean the Japanese sentence you were using.." he murmured.

"Eahhh.. you're right. Hehe. But.. I do really like you."

"Nana, if I asked you out.. will you go out with me?"

"Eh?!"

"Because I.. I really like Nana," he shyly confessed. She was surprised. "But you like Fujiwara-san. You were so excited and smiling the whole day after you met him," he added.

She chuckled at his words. "Baka..."

"Fuji-kun is an artist. There's no way I can be with him. I mean, not like how I can be with you, right?" She said.

He finally turned to her again. "You mean...?"

"I've told you, I do really like you. And since you've asked.. yeah, I would like to go out with you! Hehehe," she said, stepping closer to him.

He hugged her, tighter this time. She hugged him back.

Thursday 9 April 2015

#37 Song: RAY (BUMP OF CHICKEN)

Here I present to you, a song that made me fall in love so so much with BUMP OF CHICKEN.

I have known them by name before but I had never really listen to any of their songs. Then, I was introduced to RAY in a penpal site that I joined. I instantly fall for Fuji-kun's voice and the charm of the whole band.

Furthermore, as I looked up for more information on this band, one thing solidly amused me. It made me attached to BUMP more than I ever anticipated.

The members of this band had been together since middle school. They formed the band together and performed for the first time in their school festival. It's their very bond of friendship that got me into them so much, so madly tbh. Hahaha. AND the lyrics! Fujiwara Motoo wrote every song and each song is a story of its own. The more I know, the more I fall for them.

I went to KL in 2013 for a conference with my family. I went to Kinokuniya in KLCC to buy some Japanese magazines featuring ONE OK ROCK. Instead, I got one copy of ROCKIN' ON JAPAN with BUMP OF CHICKEN on the cover. As a BUMPER/fangirl, I would say that it's a fate LOL




Everyone is just so cute! Especially Chama as he jumped here and there LOL

Check out the lyrics here and translation here!

#36 Story: Name Tag

She walked into the store with her friends. Finally, after 3 days in Japan, she made it into Tower Records. She had so much in her 'check-out' and 'to-buy' lists. 

She went separate ways from her friends as they looked for stuffs of their own interests. She got excited when she reached the corner featuring her favourite band. She took those in her list. Then she went to another side. 
She was checking few albums and singles by her other favourite band, but not exactly what she wanted. She looked up and down the racks.

"Er..Excuse me..?" A male voice called out behind her. In a split second she knew it must be a Japanese from the way he speaks. She turned and a staff member was standing few steps from her. A typical Japanese young man around her age, with sweet smile and friendly aura. 

"Oh, hi. I.. urm.. I am looking a CD from this band," she murmured. No idea what has gotten into her but she was losing control of herself. She absent mindedly pointed to one of the CD cover.

"Oh! Ok, ok! No worries. I will help you find it," he assured, still smiling as he moved forward to the rack behind her. 

Her heart suddenly beat faster that she couldn't help but to put both hands to her chest. Her face must've turned red as she realised how cute he was when he turned to her to ask which CD was she looking for. 

Stuttering slightly but able to control herself afterwards, she told him the CD she was looking for. He found it and gave it to her. His friendly smile attracted and charmed her whole heart.

She turned awkwardly to find other stuffs in her list. Her heart felt like it was pumped out of the body when she heard him calling out for her again. "Sorry.. do you..do you need anything..else? I can help you," he offered. "It's okay. It's okay," she shook her head, beaming a weird awkward smile to him. It did not creeped him out though. He insisted to help anyway.

Eventually she gave in, knowing it can be helpless in acting tough, especially in a foreign country. So, he helped her finding all possible stuffs available in the store. 

As she stood in front of the paying counter, the staff member placed the last items she was paying for on the counter. He smiled at her and thanked her. His last words before leaving to attend another customer was, "Hope you have a nice day, pretty lady." 

If it wasn't for her friends tapping her back, she might be daydreaming and melting on the floor. She paid for her items and went out of the store with her friends. She told them about the cute staff member who helped her a lot.

"So, what was his name?" One of her friend asked, as they walked together.

She stopped. She slapped her forehead and felt moronic. "I FORGOT TO LOOK FOR THE NAME TAG" she said. "Nah, don't worry.. maybe next time you'll get to meet him again," another friend consoled her. Then they continued walking back to their hotel.

A couple of years had passed and she is back in Japan. She smiled to herself as she remembered the memory of her and the guy who worked in Tower Records. This time, she is walking into the same store again though she had told herself that he might not be here anymore.

She walked around the store as she is now much more familiar with the writings therefore making it easier for her to go anywhere she wanted to. She stopped at a corner where her favourite band is featured again. She checks out the latest album and single. 

"Still liking the same band, pretty lady? A voice asked behind her. Such familiar voice, she thought. She turned and the same smile that greeted her few years back appeared. He had different hairstyle but he still looks almost the same, with the same uniform.

"You! You remember me?" She asked.

"Of course! How can I forget such a pretty lady like you?" His lips curl upwards at one side.

"Hehe. Thank you. Oh, I am sorry. I didn't catch your name last time."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows and pointed at his name tag. He replied, "My name is..."

#35 Back to Life

Hey ho!!

It's been awhile since I last rant or babbler in this blog. Well, I've been busy catching up with my Masters work etc.

Unfortunately, I am still not done with it yet. I got the grip of it.. and so I am still trying my best to finish it til the end!

Anyway, I figured I should try to update more here. Yeah, yeah. I really should. Who knows it'll be a good filler for me whenever I got stuck with lab works eh?

Right..


NEW STUFFS IN LIFE

Let me said this out loud: I AM TOTALLY INTO BUMP OF CHICKEN NOW. Haha, nothing great. But I just wanna write that out of the blue. LOL

I got excited whenever I see Fujiwara Motoo. I don't even creeping know why.
I just like him, ok?

Ah, it's been few weeks (a couple of months) of hectic and almost hell for me and my roomie to find people to rent the rooms in our house. With our contract extending for another 6 months, we need people to share the rent with us. And really, this one experience taught me so much as people - their attitudes, characters and well-being. We're scolded, screwed and ughh... just so much unnecessary drama. Thank God that we finally settled down everything related to the rooms by 1st April 2015. New housemates came in, a Japanese Masters student (also in the same university with me) and a Diploma Accountancy student from other state. Finally, someone I can learn speaking casual Japanese with! LOL Surprisingly, she is good with Malay since she fell in love with the local culture here. Not surprising since her boyfriend is a local man. Hoho.

I have so much to write but I have little time as I might be called anytime soon to help my kouhai with her lab work and another housemate asking my favour to fetch her. So, I shall stop here first.

p.s: I am going to upload and share my short stories here. I'll do that later~ hehe